Post by Father on Dec 3, 2017 17:51:12 GMT 1
This post is meant to give guidance to the context of the world that PC's inhabit, while breaking with them is perfectly fine to do in character, it is expected that players are aware of how the world will react to it, and that PC's themselves likely might react in same fashion. While some amount of leeway should be observed among players in terms of encouraging interactions and good story, it is unlikely to be in character to ignore breaches of tradition and form, even if one doesn't care much for traditions (or doesn't like them).
Forms of address
Among the upper classes, one is rather formal. One does not simply say "you" or use the first name only, that is simply insulting. Behind closed doors, relationships may be such that one dispenses with that sort of thing, but essentially everyone with at least one rank in breeding will not make a slip of the tongue in public, not being formal in public is considered an insult. Father/mother/son/sister/etc is an exception, those can be used, even in public. Formalized, the king should be addressed as "your grace", Queen/Prince as "My Prince/Queen", spoken of as "The King".
A lord should always be spoken of/to as a lord, one can use "my lord", "Lord Willem" or "Lord Starling" the latter is reserved only for the actual Lord of House Starling, one could assign a honorific address to men not technically lords, such as the members of the small council (many of those are often lords in their own right however, the lord commander of the kingsguard should be addressed as Ser Tywin or Lord Commander, because that's a special title). It is often customary to use the honorific lordly form for the sons of lords who have not yet been knighted, as well as for regents or the spouse of a female head of house (Lysette's husband would not actually inherit the lordly title, and while customary title of Lord Protector would be applied to him, it does not technically make him Lord Starling. It is a common, and accepted, mistake to address him as Lord Starling though, but he may well introduce himself as Ser Husband of House other than Starling, Lord Protector of Kingsbridge.).
Ser is a protected title, anyone that has been properly knighted has the right to be addressed as "ser" or "Ser first name" and it is a grave insult not to do so, the lordly title takes precedence however, so lords are addressed as such. It is considered proper to use the knightly title rather than a honorific lordly one except in the cases mentioned above, as in the absence of recognizing a position held, the use of ser recognizes the achievement of knighthood.
For noble women, that being everyone not queen/princess, being the daughter or spouse of a lord/knight, though it seems nobody cares if it's omitted for bastards. Those should be addressed as "My Lady" or "Lady First Name", "Lady House Name" is specific to the spouse of the Lord (or in the rare case of female regnant, the reigning lady herself, but in the Reach, most people see her husband as the real ruler). Smallfolk frequently use m'lord, milord and other variations, and often enough call every nobleman m'lord just to be on the safe side, nobles can typically recognize each other's rank by how they dress. Even infants are considered ladies, though custom tends to be relatively relaxed for girls too young to be proper ladies in waiting.
Maesters, Septons and Septa's forego their surnames (if any) upon taking their vows, and should be addressed by title only or title+first name.
It is often polite to address men or boys that does not qualify for other titles as master, which is also the proper title for the head of a knightly house that is not himself a knight (although such a thing is practically unheard of in the reach).
While female noble bastards by definition qualifies as ladies and many male one's can attain knighthood and polite men would at least address them as masters, it is not truly considered improper (though certainly not polite) to address them in derogatory terms, such as simply "bastard" or "Lady Flowers".
Marriage
The easiest way to view marriage between nobility is to ditch the modern western view of marriage being the joining of a couple. It is the joining of two families, among smallfolk, the husband would bring the wife to live at the farm (which he would inherit), while she would then work on (and also be the nurse for the in-laws when they get old), for the nobility it is about alliances, binding houses to assist one another. Thus a noble marriage typically is between relatively equal houses so that it is a union between equals, alternatively the marriage goes along existing ties of liege and banner houses. This is where the stigma of "marrying beneath station" comes from. Naturally, these restrictions are eased up the further one gets away from the inheritance chain.
A sworn sword is simply an important warrior in the service to a lord, he cannot really marry for the sake of alliances, giving him considerable flexibility to marry for love (as long as his intended lady is not of high importance and thus would be married for alliances), though it is not unheard of to use the hand of "surplus" daughters to a particularly capable knight in order to bind him to your house, given how trials tends to work out, having a strong champion is valuable indeed, and most maesters agree that the sons of good warriors are more likely to be good warriors themselves. A lord hosting a tourney with the hand of a daughter as the prize is for this reason not uncommon.
By law (secular and otherwise) one cannot marry without the permission of the lord of one's house (and in the absence of the lord, the liege lord and ultimately the king), but either party can also say no (facing a stigma if they do, the Blackfish is an example of this from the books, it gets fuzzier in the cases of underaged brides, like Ermesande Hayford). A marriage can also be annulled by the high septon if unconsummated.
It is uncommon for noble ladies to wed before turning 16 or stay unwed past 21, betrothals may well happen sooner. Similarly, noble sons rarely marry before attaining knighthood (which is highly uncommon before turning 16 in the first place), while a man can be quite old before marrying, the need for heirs, and preferably a lord's heir should have come of age by the time he has to take his father's place, those high in the line of succession often will marry young. Outside the event of a need to formalize an alliance (or secure inheritance) immediately, underage grooms and/or brides are rare, though it is not unheard of for a noble lady being married before the age of majority, and nobody will really raise an eyebrow as long as she has flowered (in this case, the groom is expected to consummate the marriage once, but it is customary to wait until she turns 16 before again exercising his right and duty). Weddings of a more voluntarily nature typically happens when the couple are somewhere in their 20's (the sons and daughters of lords rarely gets to marry for love, and usually only if the alliance created is as good as any other that might be available.)
Rarely, couples are married when they are truly young, prior to puberty, with the once in a generation occurrence of marriage involving infants. This is not allowed according to the seven pointed star, as those too young to sire and carry children are frequently too young to understand the vows they make to each other (and infants cannot even say them). Though after nearly 200 years of Targaryen Kings with customs labelled as sins in the eyes of the seven, and the crushing of all who rose in opposition to it, have diluted the absolute authority that the faith of the seven used to have over such matters. Though the faith is still strong in the Reach, so lords settle for betrothals which they are loath to break up. Priding themselves on being above the promiscuous Dornish, superstitious Northrons and the Westernmen who are slaves to their gold.
Justice
Ultimately, the king is the final arbiter of anything, and it is the king who issues laws. In reality, justice is mostly up to the whims of the local lord. The only real distinction between a lord and a landed knight (aside from that most landed knights can technically be replaced on their lord's whim, whereas lords can only be stripped of their title by royal decree) is that only the lord has the right of pit and gallows in his domain, basically only a lord has the right to judge cases where the penalty is death, corporal punishment or torture, as well as any case where the accused is a noble. He may delegate such responsibilities to his agents, and frequently he will authorize other knights to sit in judgement in his stead when the accused is smallfolk.
Prior to the reign of Maegor the cruel, the faith had the right to judge their own, as well as to preside over cases related to adultery, heresy and so on (these days, if the spouse of the king or a prince were to commit adultery, it is considered treason, but "sinful behavior" is otherwise not criminal), but those have been stripped away, many lords consult the faith if a septon or septa stands accused. The citadel may strip a maester of his chain, and wise lords will often submit evidence of a maester's misdeeds so that this may be done, as the Citadel cares not what happens with a dechained maester (Further away from Oldtown, the maester serving the relevant lord paramount typically serves as a proxy for the archmaesters), when the Hightowers were kings, the Citadel could judge their own, a tradition still kept in Oldtown and it's bannermen.
An accused noble has the right to speak for their innocence in front of the lord in who's domains the crime was committed and to call witnesses, and may also demand that the matter is settled by combat (and technically trial by seven, but that was only used in the now abolished courts of the faith). Any knight has the right to stand for either the accuser or the accused if so named. By tradition, in the case of a lady or underage boy (yet to be old enough for knighthood), the father or husband is expected to stand for them (or arrange for a champion). While the lord overseeing judgement can deny an accused/accuser that is not a knight to stand for himself, this is by tradition only done if he is deemed unfit. It is not uncommon for a knight attending court to volunteer to stand if for no other reason than to ensure that each side is represented by a knight (since the gods will support the righteous cause, and it is a chance to prove oneself and win glory to one's name).
It is common enough that witnesses to a crime (especially knights) will act to apprehend and arrest the perpetrator, while one is then supposed to present testimony and the apprehended to the lord or the lord's agent, one sometimes takes justice into one's own hands. The greatest danger to such a thing is that sometimes, the knight assigned by a lord to uphold the king's justice in that part of his domain dislikes others encroaching upon his area of responsibility, lords themselves tends not to care less unless the lynched was someone important or well liked.
Captivity as a sentence is generally unheard of, mostly used for nobles until relatives can ransom them back, offering a son or daughter be taken as ward until coming of age is sometimes accepted as ransom, but primarily mandated by a liege lord wanting to stop quarreling among his bannermen (though one also takes on the responsibilities of fostering the child, the only difference is that they are also hostages for good behavior). For smallfolk, the sentence is almost always death or corporal punishment, while nobles tends to be fined unless their crimes warrant execution (nobles are usually beheaded by sword in a dignified manner, whereas the punishment of smallfolk often involves humiliation and tends to be styled in whatever manner most excites the crowd.). A lord may permit a man to take the black or a woman to join the silent sisters to be absolved of their crimes, prior to King Maegor's reign, it was not uncommon to let a man or woman take vows and join a septry or a motherhouse, but this is now forbidden. Given the respect for the faith and the gallantry that exists in the Reach, most lord prefers to allow women to join the silent sisters, but the wall is very far away, and thus many lords prefers to offer the spectacle of execution and reserves the option of taking the black to nobles.
Education and fostering
It is common, almost expected, that a lord's sons and daughters are to be fostered at another house, it is usually considered an honor to be entrusted with this responsibility, though the liege lord will typically expect that the heirs of his bannermen, and often younger siblings also, are fostered by him, in which case it is just as much an instrument to insure the loyalty of their father's and to create bonds. Girls are fostered as ladies in waiting to the Lady of the house, she will instruct both ladies in waiting and pages in courtly manners, the proper forms of address and courtesies and so on. Older ladies in waiting will receive education on how to run a household, instructions in the art of needlework and other such skills of which a proper lady should be proficient. Boys are squired to either the lord or one of his knights when old enough (If the fostering lord is a great lord, typically with many wards being a lord's heir, he will often arrange for one of his banner lords to take on this duty), while pages receives basic weapons training by a house's master at arms, it is as squires they learn how to properly fight as knights, and also educated in what a knight's role is.
While one returns home after being knighted (usually somewhere between 18 and 21 years old, sometimes 16 or even younger, but that is rare seeing that the one doing the knighting vouches for his abilities), ladies in waiting often stay as wards until marriage (typically between 16 and 21 years old). One is usually also taught one's letters and history by the maester and the tenets of the faith by septon or septa.
While the word ward can describe someone that is fostered to a lord, it's most widely use is to describe a hostage for good behavior, the lord has the same responsibilities for such a hostage as he does to someone sent to him to foster, and most lords care enough about their honor (and future relations) to treat them the same. But the word can be used interchangeably. Sometimes a hostage will stay on for longer than a fosterling usually would, and sometimes a liege lord might suggest that a grown son should serve him as a sworn sword, it is also not unheard of for married ladies to be ladies in waiting to a more prominent lady, but usually only if they already have grown children or are widowed and thus their role as lady of the House has passed on, this is particularly common in a great house where there tends to be many pages and young ladies in waiting in need of instruction.
Inheritance
By Andal tradition, a son inherits before a daughter, and the lord's daughter inherit before a lord's brother, order of birth otherwise determining one's place in the line. Things gets more muddy the further away from the late lord one has to go in order to find the heir, though the real complications may arise if the lord did not leave a clear designated heir, and sometimes who may rally the most support or simply seize power and gain acceptance for it before anyone else cold intervene. Most lords without a son to inherit him often goes to some length to ensure that there is a heir with invested authority so as to make the transition smooth. There is some precedence for setting aside the firstborn son, lackwits are often passed over for example, and sometimes sons unfit for knighthood have been pressured into joining the faith or the citadel (other times, heirs uninterested in lordship may do such things on their own), but attempts to set aside an heir appearing capable for a favorite rarely end well, or successfully for that matter.
If the heir is underage, a regent must be named, if not by the lord himself pre-mortem, then the liege lord must make the appointment. Typically an uncle or a trusted knight, but the young lord's mother could also be a candidate (Lord Tyrell's grandmother acted as regent for both her son and grandson), nor is it unusual that a lord appoints a regent for a female heir until she marries, a condition that she must marry before a certain age (25 is typical), possibly give birth to a trueborn child as well, (some lords have even demanded a healthy grandson) are not unheard of either, though such practices goes against the laws of King Jahaerys the conciliator, but not all laws are enforced. A fairly common story is that of the uncle regent who ensures his niece marries her cousin, and that he becomes the true lord, other regents became lords as their young charges suddenly succumbed to illness.
Bastards
The stigma of "being born on the wrong side of the sheets" is mostly tied to religious beliefs. According to the faith, bastards are "born of lust and sin" and thus widely expected to repeat the sort of moral deficiencies that spawned them. Likely, much of the stigma arises because these very expectations helps to shape those born under such circumstances, as well as how they are legally and customarily treated.
Firstly, it is widely considered to be insulting to his wife if a nobleman brings his bastards into the household and treats them as he does his trueborn children, though he is expected to provide for them all the same (often by fostering them to other lords and arranging for knighthood for sons and marriage to a knight for daughters, but both the faith and the citadel are also options). Secondly, bastards rank behind all trueborn claimants in the line of succession (though it does happen sometimes that a natural son inherits before a distant trueborn cousin). More than anyone else, they have to make their own way in life. Other terms for bastards are "natural son/daughter", "Baseborn" is specifically for a bastard born to a smallfolk mother.
In order to receive the bastard surname (Flowers for the Reach, Waters, Sand, Pyke, Storm, Snow, Rivers, Stone and Hill for other regions), one must be acknowledged as the offspring of a noble, if one's mother is noble, then there is no question, but if the mother is smallfolk, then it is entirely up to the father whether or not to acknowledge the child as his. Sometimes unacknowledged bastards still claim the surname and supposed lineage, as it is not uncommon for the father to be known as such. It is considered extremely dishonorable not to acknowledge children born to noble mothers. The desirability of a noble woman who have given birth to a bastard is drastically reduced, to the point where most such women will be joining the faith rather than marry (sometimes hastily wed before giving birth if the father is an agreeable groom), fathering bastards, in contrast, is often used as proof of one's virility, though the pious still frown. Bastards born of noble mothers are exceedingly rare as maesters are known for being discrete regarding "womanly concerns" (such as providing moon tea), and rumor has it that lords frequently force their daughters to imbibe even stronger concoctions should that fail.
A bastard knight may not use the arms of his father, and frequently uses the same symbols but with inverted colors or some other variation.
A special case is legitimization, a right reserved for the king (but the king will often simply affix his seal to such a decree upon the recommendation of his lord paramount). Effectively, this fully inducts the bastard into his father's house with the same rank as a trueborn child (and in the case of a noble mother, the bastard would also be part of her house), but it is unclear whether this would place him before or after any other sons in the line of succession. This does not automatically allow them to use the surname and arms of their father's house.
Great Bastards
Under Targaryen rule, legitimization has only been used when a lord had no living trueborn sons, except when King Aegon IV legitimized all his bastards born to his nine official mistresses and other noble women that he bedded. In effect making them part of house Targaryen, but King Daeron have not given them any special treatment because of it, only giving such formal recognition and observance of the stipends and honors specifically granted to them by his father, and assuming any other such responsibilities. There are those such as Brynden Rivers who have taken service at the Red Keep, others merely gets on with their lives while a select few actively use their status to pursue other aims. Most of the great bastards has the potential to wield considerable influence given the symbolism their legitimization has afforded them (Daemon Blackfyre has his father's sword and is born to a Targaryen mother to add to that, alongside his own domains upon the Blackwater), in truth, most would have no real power if men did not pay special attention to their deeds and words.
King Daeron II have opted to assume responsibility for the children of Aegon IV's mistresses, including finding spouses and providing for knighthood and dowries, although in the case of Daemon Blackfyre (Though Princess Daena the defiant is not ordinarily counted among the mistresses) this has already been provided by Aegon IV's will, while Aegor Rivers's choice of being the master of his own fate was respected. Brynden Rivers have accepted and have been treated as a cousin by the king, as is the case with his sisters and Shiera Waters. The other great bastards have generally found a place in the House of their mothers, but the Iron Throne have offered stipends as the father is responsible to provide for his bastards, though never more than what honor demands.
Honor, Reputation and one's good name.
Westerosi society is not the modern day egalitarian and individualistic one. It is hierarchical and what others say about you, especially among nobility, is highly important. Overall, most knights, lords and ladies are touchy about insults, slander and attacks upon their "good name". In our modern world, we often find people that lash out against the slightest little critical news headline to be rather ridiculous (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit). In Westeros, one can expect most nobles to be like that. Open criticism and defiance is rare. As always, alluding to sexual matters is a popular insult. The implication of "son of a whore" and "bastard" is that your birth is illegitimate, while "whore" is used interchangeably with prostitute, it's wider meaning is that of a woman that sleeps around. Though it's perhaps the worst offense that can be given as it essentially questions the legitimacy of your birthright (or that of your sons). It also implies indecent behavior by the lady in question.
Bodily waste is also a favorite, "Piss on that" or "I shit on you", it's dismissive of an opinion, or against a person. In the latter case, it's a clear challenge to authority of a person, and what is the authority of a person that fails to respond in a manner to re-assert it? There are many other variants that does the same thing, but nothing tends to get the point across as adding a bit of stink to it. Assault upon "manliness" is another insult that often does not go ignored, cowardice, weakness, shying away from battle and so on. Being infertile (which is one reason as to why fathering bastards need not necessarily be a bad thing, whereas mothering them is another thing entirely, but westeros is chauvinistic that way) or preferring other men also counts (there isn't any particular stigma attached to homosexuality, though most find it rather distasteful and known homosexuals are usually looked down upon and frequently mocked).
There is usually social pressure to reply to such an insult with a challenge to a duel, most times these are orderly affairs with tourney lances and the rules of the joust, if a knight is willing to stand up for his honor (or that of another, particularly if a lady is the one insulted), it does not so much matter who wins the duel as that the offended party was willing to defend his honor (or a knight is willing to defend that of a lady). If this insult is delivered in the halls of another lord, he usually is considered to have some responsibility to ensure that the matter is settled to the satisfaction of the realm, and frequently restricts the combatants to using longswords and tourney lances. It is perhaps for this reason that the longsword is a weapon strongly associated with knights and often their favored weapon. The reigning lord sometimes will also seek to make the duelists come to terms, this is especially the case with young knights (a long night of getting drunk together can go a long way to settle their differences, unless their last names are Blackwood and Bracken).
Given this environment, courtesy and gallantry are extolled and encouraged, one is usually careful not to force others to lose face. Many phrases may be considered bland and overused, people are highly polite and so on. Westerosi nobles are as a result fond of veiled implication and insinuation, but that involves dangerous playing with the line. Any sizable gathering of knights involving considerable amounts of strong drink tends to result in numerous duels (with blunted swords) the following day.
Landed Knights
A landed knight is someone appointed to hold some land in the name of his liege lord, the size and wealth can vary widely. Usually appointed if a lord's domains are too vast to be controlled from one location, sometimes a landed knight is designated for the purpose of maintaining a key fortification in border areas and so on. Often times, such positions are given to younger sons, and sometimes to the husbands of daughters. Nor is it uncommon to be used as reward for some service or to attract talent. Their primary duty is to uphold the king's peace in the name of their lord, and for this reason, it is basically unheard of in the Reach for any man not having attained knighthood to hold this rank (or a woman, gods forbid). This is also a position from which one retires when no longer able to physically partake in battle.
While some landed knights can be just as powerful as many lords, by and large they are not. It is not uncommon that the position of master of a holdfast or tower is inherited from father to son, this is simply customary more often than not, but it is not uncommon that upon awarding of the lands, a decree was made that sons and grandsons and so on would inherit the position. Such decrees can be overturned at a whim by the one issuing it (or a successor) and nobody can protest much. Even so, customary inheritance tends to be observed unless there are compelling reasons otherwise, a lord setting aside traditions might make his other landed knights nervous, and may cause trouble if the family in question enjoys the support of the population of the domains overseen.
Lady Regnants
Sometimes a lord only has daughters, which means the eldest would then inherit his lands and titles. While uncommon, most lords will remarry in the hope of getting a son and other such things, possibly even siring a bastard son and seek to have him legitimized, it occurs every now and then. Popular opinion in the Reach and most of Westeros is that ladies are ill-suited to rule, but they grudgingly accept their capability to carry out to sit in judgement during trials and thus uphold the king's justice. And she can always appoint knights to uphold the king's peace. A lady regnant (or any lady, really) actively involving herself in martial affairs is material for scandal and ridicule, although from time to time such women have accompanied their forces when the liege lord calls his banners, they would likely be denied to join the actual campaign once they march into enemy territory. As landed knights only upholds the king's peace, a daughter inheriting such a position would immediately pass it on to her husband, and the liege lord would likely dispense with inheritance customs if there is no husband or he finds him inadequate.
Warfare
More often than not, battle is not orderly. Usually the highest ranking lords are given the command, and while tactics is thought to lords and their sons, higher station usually does not imply higher ability. Adding to this is that many knights and lords have a mind of their own, it is not uncommon that all demand to be in the front ranks of the Vanguard in the vain desire for glory and ransoms. Sometimes they charge without orders or otherwise act independently to obstruct the battle plan. A battle is usually decided by breaking the will of the opposing side, and even long and hard fought battles involving many thousand men may have causalities of just a few hundreds if the losing side manages to retreat in good order. Often times, however, knights and lords will refuse to retreat, preferring death or capture instead of being branded a coward. If the losing side is routed however, the deaths may number in the thousands as they are cut down while fleeing and separated. Most men of high birth will instead yield and held for ransom, sometimes knights and lords are released on solemn promise never to raise arms against the side of their captor until ransom has been paid. Men that cannot pay ransom are usually executed. Captive foes are often equally numerous as slain ones. The ransom befalls the man whom captures his foe, thus many a knight have been motivated in battle to be the one to force the yield, sometimes dying for it, sometimes brawling with his allies. High ranking nobles, protected by their knights and sworn shields will often only surrender when one of the ranking commanders with their retinue approaches.
The usual strategy of offensive warfare is to move into the lands of the enemy to live off them, to raid, pillage and plunder to force your opponent to give battle in a place of your choosing and to advance upon your advantageous position, a victory will more often than not result in a rout and one may then proceed towards besieging the enemy, though if one has captured their leadership, terms might also be negotiated then and there. While many castles can be stormed, and there is a great honor to be the first over the walls or through the breach, most major castles are considered near impossible to take if properly garrisoned. Thus a siege commences until surrender (usually as supplies of food are depleted), equally often the besieging force itself runs out of supplies and are unable to feed itself off the lands and are forced to retreat. The dragons of House Targaryen upended that balance just as well as they could decimate armies in the field with nigh impunity, leading to the relatively swift fall of the seven kingdoms to Aegon the Conqueror.
Knighthood
Any knight can make a knight by having another man kneel before him and dub him seven times on the shoulders with his sword and lay the seven charges of a knight upon him, one from each of the seven. The knighting of noble sons usually also involves the soon to be knighted squire to spend the night in silent prayer at a sept, to be anointed with the seven oils by a septon in a morning sermon, and take holy vows. No such ceremony is strictly demanded however and being knighted in the field for one's prowess in battle or tourney is considered much more glorious. Knighthood is at once an honor, a profession and a title. The title lifts a man into nobility, though one's grown sons are usually not considered as such unless they themselves are also knights.
Their profession is to serve as highly trained and well equipped horsemen, to give their counsel in matters of war to their liege and to shield him with their life in battle. Few men that does not have the warhorse, arms and armor to properly serve in this capacity will be acknowledged as knights if claiming to be one. In the Reach, there is a tendency to require that witnesses needs to be provided to vouch for your status if you are not recognized by the heralds. It is also custom that whoever does the knighting will provide the equipment needed to perform one's role, and also offer the newly minted knight a place in his service, which involves food and lodging in return. Most ordinary knights spend most of their day in the practice yard, training for such time as they are called upon to serve in battle. And failing battles, there are always tourneys where one can ride for the glory and honor of themselves and the lords they serve. A lord will often call upon his knights to perform peacekeeping duties in his domains, deal with outlaws, patrol the roads and help train and raise smallfolk militia's and levies.
It is also an honor in so far as knights are widely regarded as more trustworthy and reliable than others, as The Seven Pointed Star spends many pages on the virtues that a knight is expected to observe (it does not specifically mention martial ability, though several passages refers to their duties in shielding and protecting maidens, the faith and so on.). A knight must be brave in face of death, gallant towards ladies, merciful towards surrendering enemies, protective of women and children, he must be faithful, loyal and truthful. And the man knighting another vouches for his character, that the new knight not only possesses the martial ability to perform his duties, but also the qualities of a true knight. Great shame is therefore attached in knighting someone for personal gain rather than as a justly deserved recognition. And a knight acting dishonorably often not only soils himself but also the man he serves and the man that gave him his spurs. Culturally, a knight is typically assumed to have these lofty qualities until clearly demonstrated otherwise.
For noble men, achieving knighthood is partly a rite of passage and partly an affirmation of one's quality. The knightly ideals are so ingrained in the Andal culture that failure to find a noble and honorable knight willing to take you on as a squire and then vouch for your character is a sign of shame and inadequacy, noble sons ill suited for knighthood typically joins the faith or the Citadel which is considered the honorable choice, though one often undesirable for a lord's heir, therefore "weakling" lords are not unheard of, while second and third sons are almost always knights of at least adequate ability (else they'd be maesters or septons).
The role of ladies
A cynic might claim that the life of an Andal lady is defined by her marriage, or lack of it. He would observe that the worst things a lady might do are those that would reflect badly upon her husband's honor. The perhaps worst of all sins is infidelity, reasonable one might say, considering that birthright is a centerpiece of Andal society, any doubt about the legitimacy of a lord's children will lead to naught but trouble. Thus any indication that a lady is not as faithful as she should be drastically reduces her esteem, and stains the honor of her husband. Even rumors and speculations tends to give rise to the idea that there is a reason for such words to be whispered. A lady is also supposed to obey and support her husband, in effect making any offensive comment she makes reflect badly not just upon her own restraint and courtesy, but also upon her husband's (or father's) ability to keep her properly disciplined.
The ideal lady is pious, courteous, graceful and deferential, never making any statement which might undermine her husband's ability to manage his affairs. And seven forbid if she took any of his martial duties upon herself. The reality of course, is that many ladies often have sharper tongues than any man, several are exercising power and influence so openly that others frown and very much look down on their husbands for allowing them. Though it is much more common for a lady to influence her husband within their own chambers, and more than one lord has been blessed with a capable wife willing to play the public role demanded by society. Should a lady give insult, the man so offended (or the husband or father or brother of the lady the words were directed towards) may demand of her husband or father to promise to see her disciplined or back her words with his sword, just as if he himself had spoken them.
Forms of address
Among the upper classes, one is rather formal. One does not simply say "you" or use the first name only, that is simply insulting. Behind closed doors, relationships may be such that one dispenses with that sort of thing, but essentially everyone with at least one rank in breeding will not make a slip of the tongue in public, not being formal in public is considered an insult. Father/mother/son/sister/etc is an exception, those can be used, even in public. Formalized, the king should be addressed as "your grace", Queen/Prince as "My Prince/Queen", spoken of as "The King".
A lord should always be spoken of/to as a lord, one can use "my lord", "Lord Willem" or "Lord Starling" the latter is reserved only for the actual Lord of House Starling, one could assign a honorific address to men not technically lords, such as the members of the small council (many of those are often lords in their own right however, the lord commander of the kingsguard should be addressed as Ser Tywin or Lord Commander, because that's a special title). It is often customary to use the honorific lordly form for the sons of lords who have not yet been knighted, as well as for regents or the spouse of a female head of house (Lysette's husband would not actually inherit the lordly title, and while customary title of Lord Protector would be applied to him, it does not technically make him Lord Starling. It is a common, and accepted, mistake to address him as Lord Starling though, but he may well introduce himself as Ser Husband of House other than Starling, Lord Protector of Kingsbridge.).
Ser is a protected title, anyone that has been properly knighted has the right to be addressed as "ser" or "Ser first name" and it is a grave insult not to do so, the lordly title takes precedence however, so lords are addressed as such. It is considered proper to use the knightly title rather than a honorific lordly one except in the cases mentioned above, as in the absence of recognizing a position held, the use of ser recognizes the achievement of knighthood.
For noble women, that being everyone not queen/princess, being the daughter or spouse of a lord/knight, though it seems nobody cares if it's omitted for bastards. Those should be addressed as "My Lady" or "Lady First Name", "Lady House Name" is specific to the spouse of the Lord (or in the rare case of female regnant, the reigning lady herself, but in the Reach, most people see her husband as the real ruler). Smallfolk frequently use m'lord, milord and other variations, and often enough call every nobleman m'lord just to be on the safe side, nobles can typically recognize each other's rank by how they dress. Even infants are considered ladies, though custom tends to be relatively relaxed for girls too young to be proper ladies in waiting.
Maesters, Septons and Septa's forego their surnames (if any) upon taking their vows, and should be addressed by title only or title+first name.
It is often polite to address men or boys that does not qualify for other titles as master, which is also the proper title for the head of a knightly house that is not himself a knight (although such a thing is practically unheard of in the reach).
While female noble bastards by definition qualifies as ladies and many male one's can attain knighthood and polite men would at least address them as masters, it is not truly considered improper (though certainly not polite) to address them in derogatory terms, such as simply "bastard" or "Lady Flowers".
Marriage
The easiest way to view marriage between nobility is to ditch the modern western view of marriage being the joining of a couple. It is the joining of two families, among smallfolk, the husband would bring the wife to live at the farm (which he would inherit), while she would then work on (and also be the nurse for the in-laws when they get old), for the nobility it is about alliances, binding houses to assist one another. Thus a noble marriage typically is between relatively equal houses so that it is a union between equals, alternatively the marriage goes along existing ties of liege and banner houses. This is where the stigma of "marrying beneath station" comes from. Naturally, these restrictions are eased up the further one gets away from the inheritance chain.
A sworn sword is simply an important warrior in the service to a lord, he cannot really marry for the sake of alliances, giving him considerable flexibility to marry for love (as long as his intended lady is not of high importance and thus would be married for alliances), though it is not unheard of to use the hand of "surplus" daughters to a particularly capable knight in order to bind him to your house, given how trials tends to work out, having a strong champion is valuable indeed, and most maesters agree that the sons of good warriors are more likely to be good warriors themselves. A lord hosting a tourney with the hand of a daughter as the prize is for this reason not uncommon.
By law (secular and otherwise) one cannot marry without the permission of the lord of one's house (and in the absence of the lord, the liege lord and ultimately the king), but either party can also say no (facing a stigma if they do, the Blackfish is an example of this from the books, it gets fuzzier in the cases of underaged brides, like Ermesande Hayford). A marriage can also be annulled by the high septon if unconsummated.
It is uncommon for noble ladies to wed before turning 16 or stay unwed past 21, betrothals may well happen sooner. Similarly, noble sons rarely marry before attaining knighthood (which is highly uncommon before turning 16 in the first place), while a man can be quite old before marrying, the need for heirs, and preferably a lord's heir should have come of age by the time he has to take his father's place, those high in the line of succession often will marry young. Outside the event of a need to formalize an alliance (or secure inheritance) immediately, underage grooms and/or brides are rare, though it is not unheard of for a noble lady being married before the age of majority, and nobody will really raise an eyebrow as long as she has flowered (in this case, the groom is expected to consummate the marriage once, but it is customary to wait until she turns 16 before again exercising his right and duty). Weddings of a more voluntarily nature typically happens when the couple are somewhere in their 20's (the sons and daughters of lords rarely gets to marry for love, and usually only if the alliance created is as good as any other that might be available.)
Rarely, couples are married when they are truly young, prior to puberty, with the once in a generation occurrence of marriage involving infants. This is not allowed according to the seven pointed star, as those too young to sire and carry children are frequently too young to understand the vows they make to each other (and infants cannot even say them). Though after nearly 200 years of Targaryen Kings with customs labelled as sins in the eyes of the seven, and the crushing of all who rose in opposition to it, have diluted the absolute authority that the faith of the seven used to have over such matters. Though the faith is still strong in the Reach, so lords settle for betrothals which they are loath to break up. Priding themselves on being above the promiscuous Dornish, superstitious Northrons and the Westernmen who are slaves to their gold.
Justice
Ultimately, the king is the final arbiter of anything, and it is the king who issues laws. In reality, justice is mostly up to the whims of the local lord. The only real distinction between a lord and a landed knight (aside from that most landed knights can technically be replaced on their lord's whim, whereas lords can only be stripped of their title by royal decree) is that only the lord has the right of pit and gallows in his domain, basically only a lord has the right to judge cases where the penalty is death, corporal punishment or torture, as well as any case where the accused is a noble. He may delegate such responsibilities to his agents, and frequently he will authorize other knights to sit in judgement in his stead when the accused is smallfolk.
Prior to the reign of Maegor the cruel, the faith had the right to judge their own, as well as to preside over cases related to adultery, heresy and so on (these days, if the spouse of the king or a prince were to commit adultery, it is considered treason, but "sinful behavior" is otherwise not criminal), but those have been stripped away, many lords consult the faith if a septon or septa stands accused. The citadel may strip a maester of his chain, and wise lords will often submit evidence of a maester's misdeeds so that this may be done, as the Citadel cares not what happens with a dechained maester (Further away from Oldtown, the maester serving the relevant lord paramount typically serves as a proxy for the archmaesters), when the Hightowers were kings, the Citadel could judge their own, a tradition still kept in Oldtown and it's bannermen.
An accused noble has the right to speak for their innocence in front of the lord in who's domains the crime was committed and to call witnesses, and may also demand that the matter is settled by combat (and technically trial by seven, but that was only used in the now abolished courts of the faith). Any knight has the right to stand for either the accuser or the accused if so named. By tradition, in the case of a lady or underage boy (yet to be old enough for knighthood), the father or husband is expected to stand for them (or arrange for a champion). While the lord overseeing judgement can deny an accused/accuser that is not a knight to stand for himself, this is by tradition only done if he is deemed unfit. It is not uncommon for a knight attending court to volunteer to stand if for no other reason than to ensure that each side is represented by a knight (since the gods will support the righteous cause, and it is a chance to prove oneself and win glory to one's name).
It is common enough that witnesses to a crime (especially knights) will act to apprehend and arrest the perpetrator, while one is then supposed to present testimony and the apprehended to the lord or the lord's agent, one sometimes takes justice into one's own hands. The greatest danger to such a thing is that sometimes, the knight assigned by a lord to uphold the king's justice in that part of his domain dislikes others encroaching upon his area of responsibility, lords themselves tends not to care less unless the lynched was someone important or well liked.
Captivity as a sentence is generally unheard of, mostly used for nobles until relatives can ransom them back, offering a son or daughter be taken as ward until coming of age is sometimes accepted as ransom, but primarily mandated by a liege lord wanting to stop quarreling among his bannermen (though one also takes on the responsibilities of fostering the child, the only difference is that they are also hostages for good behavior). For smallfolk, the sentence is almost always death or corporal punishment, while nobles tends to be fined unless their crimes warrant execution (nobles are usually beheaded by sword in a dignified manner, whereas the punishment of smallfolk often involves humiliation and tends to be styled in whatever manner most excites the crowd.). A lord may permit a man to take the black or a woman to join the silent sisters to be absolved of their crimes, prior to King Maegor's reign, it was not uncommon to let a man or woman take vows and join a septry or a motherhouse, but this is now forbidden. Given the respect for the faith and the gallantry that exists in the Reach, most lord prefers to allow women to join the silent sisters, but the wall is very far away, and thus many lords prefers to offer the spectacle of execution and reserves the option of taking the black to nobles.
Education and fostering
It is common, almost expected, that a lord's sons and daughters are to be fostered at another house, it is usually considered an honor to be entrusted with this responsibility, though the liege lord will typically expect that the heirs of his bannermen, and often younger siblings also, are fostered by him, in which case it is just as much an instrument to insure the loyalty of their father's and to create bonds. Girls are fostered as ladies in waiting to the Lady of the house, she will instruct both ladies in waiting and pages in courtly manners, the proper forms of address and courtesies and so on. Older ladies in waiting will receive education on how to run a household, instructions in the art of needlework and other such skills of which a proper lady should be proficient. Boys are squired to either the lord or one of his knights when old enough (If the fostering lord is a great lord, typically with many wards being a lord's heir, he will often arrange for one of his banner lords to take on this duty), while pages receives basic weapons training by a house's master at arms, it is as squires they learn how to properly fight as knights, and also educated in what a knight's role is.
While one returns home after being knighted (usually somewhere between 18 and 21 years old, sometimes 16 or even younger, but that is rare seeing that the one doing the knighting vouches for his abilities), ladies in waiting often stay as wards until marriage (typically between 16 and 21 years old). One is usually also taught one's letters and history by the maester and the tenets of the faith by septon or septa.
While the word ward can describe someone that is fostered to a lord, it's most widely use is to describe a hostage for good behavior, the lord has the same responsibilities for such a hostage as he does to someone sent to him to foster, and most lords care enough about their honor (and future relations) to treat them the same. But the word can be used interchangeably. Sometimes a hostage will stay on for longer than a fosterling usually would, and sometimes a liege lord might suggest that a grown son should serve him as a sworn sword, it is also not unheard of for married ladies to be ladies in waiting to a more prominent lady, but usually only if they already have grown children or are widowed and thus their role as lady of the House has passed on, this is particularly common in a great house where there tends to be many pages and young ladies in waiting in need of instruction.
Inheritance
By Andal tradition, a son inherits before a daughter, and the lord's daughter inherit before a lord's brother, order of birth otherwise determining one's place in the line. Things gets more muddy the further away from the late lord one has to go in order to find the heir, though the real complications may arise if the lord did not leave a clear designated heir, and sometimes who may rally the most support or simply seize power and gain acceptance for it before anyone else cold intervene. Most lords without a son to inherit him often goes to some length to ensure that there is a heir with invested authority so as to make the transition smooth. There is some precedence for setting aside the firstborn son, lackwits are often passed over for example, and sometimes sons unfit for knighthood have been pressured into joining the faith or the citadel (other times, heirs uninterested in lordship may do such things on their own), but attempts to set aside an heir appearing capable for a favorite rarely end well, or successfully for that matter.
If the heir is underage, a regent must be named, if not by the lord himself pre-mortem, then the liege lord must make the appointment. Typically an uncle or a trusted knight, but the young lord's mother could also be a candidate (Lord Tyrell's grandmother acted as regent for both her son and grandson), nor is it unusual that a lord appoints a regent for a female heir until she marries, a condition that she must marry before a certain age (25 is typical), possibly give birth to a trueborn child as well, (some lords have even demanded a healthy grandson) are not unheard of either, though such practices goes against the laws of King Jahaerys the conciliator, but not all laws are enforced. A fairly common story is that of the uncle regent who ensures his niece marries her cousin, and that he becomes the true lord, other regents became lords as their young charges suddenly succumbed to illness.
Bastards
The stigma of "being born on the wrong side of the sheets" is mostly tied to religious beliefs. According to the faith, bastards are "born of lust and sin" and thus widely expected to repeat the sort of moral deficiencies that spawned them. Likely, much of the stigma arises because these very expectations helps to shape those born under such circumstances, as well as how they are legally and customarily treated.
Firstly, it is widely considered to be insulting to his wife if a nobleman brings his bastards into the household and treats them as he does his trueborn children, though he is expected to provide for them all the same (often by fostering them to other lords and arranging for knighthood for sons and marriage to a knight for daughters, but both the faith and the citadel are also options). Secondly, bastards rank behind all trueborn claimants in the line of succession (though it does happen sometimes that a natural son inherits before a distant trueborn cousin). More than anyone else, they have to make their own way in life. Other terms for bastards are "natural son/daughter", "Baseborn" is specifically for a bastard born to a smallfolk mother.
In order to receive the bastard surname (Flowers for the Reach, Waters, Sand, Pyke, Storm, Snow, Rivers, Stone and Hill for other regions), one must be acknowledged as the offspring of a noble, if one's mother is noble, then there is no question, but if the mother is smallfolk, then it is entirely up to the father whether or not to acknowledge the child as his. Sometimes unacknowledged bastards still claim the surname and supposed lineage, as it is not uncommon for the father to be known as such. It is considered extremely dishonorable not to acknowledge children born to noble mothers. The desirability of a noble woman who have given birth to a bastard is drastically reduced, to the point where most such women will be joining the faith rather than marry (sometimes hastily wed before giving birth if the father is an agreeable groom), fathering bastards, in contrast, is often used as proof of one's virility, though the pious still frown. Bastards born of noble mothers are exceedingly rare as maesters are known for being discrete regarding "womanly concerns" (such as providing moon tea), and rumor has it that lords frequently force their daughters to imbibe even stronger concoctions should that fail.
A bastard knight may not use the arms of his father, and frequently uses the same symbols but with inverted colors or some other variation.
A special case is legitimization, a right reserved for the king (but the king will often simply affix his seal to such a decree upon the recommendation of his lord paramount). Effectively, this fully inducts the bastard into his father's house with the same rank as a trueborn child (and in the case of a noble mother, the bastard would also be part of her house), but it is unclear whether this would place him before or after any other sons in the line of succession. This does not automatically allow them to use the surname and arms of their father's house.
Great Bastards
Under Targaryen rule, legitimization has only been used when a lord had no living trueborn sons, except when King Aegon IV legitimized all his bastards born to his nine official mistresses and other noble women that he bedded. In effect making them part of house Targaryen, but King Daeron have not given them any special treatment because of it, only giving such formal recognition and observance of the stipends and honors specifically granted to them by his father, and assuming any other such responsibilities. There are those such as Brynden Rivers who have taken service at the Red Keep, others merely gets on with their lives while a select few actively use their status to pursue other aims. Most of the great bastards has the potential to wield considerable influence given the symbolism their legitimization has afforded them (Daemon Blackfyre has his father's sword and is born to a Targaryen mother to add to that, alongside his own domains upon the Blackwater), in truth, most would have no real power if men did not pay special attention to their deeds and words.
King Daeron II have opted to assume responsibility for the children of Aegon IV's mistresses, including finding spouses and providing for knighthood and dowries, although in the case of Daemon Blackfyre (Though Princess Daena the defiant is not ordinarily counted among the mistresses) this has already been provided by Aegon IV's will, while Aegor Rivers's choice of being the master of his own fate was respected. Brynden Rivers have accepted and have been treated as a cousin by the king, as is the case with his sisters and Shiera Waters. The other great bastards have generally found a place in the House of their mothers, but the Iron Throne have offered stipends as the father is responsible to provide for his bastards, though never more than what honor demands.
Honor, Reputation and one's good name.
Westerosi society is not the modern day egalitarian and individualistic one. It is hierarchical and what others say about you, especially among nobility, is highly important. Overall, most knights, lords and ladies are touchy about insults, slander and attacks upon their "good name". In our modern world, we often find people that lash out against the slightest little critical news headline to be rather ridiculous (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit). In Westeros, one can expect most nobles to be like that. Open criticism and defiance is rare. As always, alluding to sexual matters is a popular insult. The implication of "son of a whore" and "bastard" is that your birth is illegitimate, while "whore" is used interchangeably with prostitute, it's wider meaning is that of a woman that sleeps around. Though it's perhaps the worst offense that can be given as it essentially questions the legitimacy of your birthright (or that of your sons). It also implies indecent behavior by the lady in question.
Bodily waste is also a favorite, "Piss on that" or "I shit on you", it's dismissive of an opinion, or against a person. In the latter case, it's a clear challenge to authority of a person, and what is the authority of a person that fails to respond in a manner to re-assert it? There are many other variants that does the same thing, but nothing tends to get the point across as adding a bit of stink to it. Assault upon "manliness" is another insult that often does not go ignored, cowardice, weakness, shying away from battle and so on. Being infertile (which is one reason as to why fathering bastards need not necessarily be a bad thing, whereas mothering them is another thing entirely, but westeros is chauvinistic that way) or preferring other men also counts (there isn't any particular stigma attached to homosexuality, though most find it rather distasteful and known homosexuals are usually looked down upon and frequently mocked).
There is usually social pressure to reply to such an insult with a challenge to a duel, most times these are orderly affairs with tourney lances and the rules of the joust, if a knight is willing to stand up for his honor (or that of another, particularly if a lady is the one insulted), it does not so much matter who wins the duel as that the offended party was willing to defend his honor (or a knight is willing to defend that of a lady). If this insult is delivered in the halls of another lord, he usually is considered to have some responsibility to ensure that the matter is settled to the satisfaction of the realm, and frequently restricts the combatants to using longswords and tourney lances. It is perhaps for this reason that the longsword is a weapon strongly associated with knights and often their favored weapon. The reigning lord sometimes will also seek to make the duelists come to terms, this is especially the case with young knights (a long night of getting drunk together can go a long way to settle their differences, unless their last names are Blackwood and Bracken).
Given this environment, courtesy and gallantry are extolled and encouraged, one is usually careful not to force others to lose face. Many phrases may be considered bland and overused, people are highly polite and so on. Westerosi nobles are as a result fond of veiled implication and insinuation, but that involves dangerous playing with the line. Any sizable gathering of knights involving considerable amounts of strong drink tends to result in numerous duels (with blunted swords) the following day.
Landed Knights
A landed knight is someone appointed to hold some land in the name of his liege lord, the size and wealth can vary widely. Usually appointed if a lord's domains are too vast to be controlled from one location, sometimes a landed knight is designated for the purpose of maintaining a key fortification in border areas and so on. Often times, such positions are given to younger sons, and sometimes to the husbands of daughters. Nor is it uncommon to be used as reward for some service or to attract talent. Their primary duty is to uphold the king's peace in the name of their lord, and for this reason, it is basically unheard of in the Reach for any man not having attained knighthood to hold this rank (or a woman, gods forbid). This is also a position from which one retires when no longer able to physically partake in battle.
While some landed knights can be just as powerful as many lords, by and large they are not. It is not uncommon that the position of master of a holdfast or tower is inherited from father to son, this is simply customary more often than not, but it is not uncommon that upon awarding of the lands, a decree was made that sons and grandsons and so on would inherit the position. Such decrees can be overturned at a whim by the one issuing it (or a successor) and nobody can protest much. Even so, customary inheritance tends to be observed unless there are compelling reasons otherwise, a lord setting aside traditions might make his other landed knights nervous, and may cause trouble if the family in question enjoys the support of the population of the domains overseen.
Lady Regnants
Sometimes a lord only has daughters, which means the eldest would then inherit his lands and titles. While uncommon, most lords will remarry in the hope of getting a son and other such things, possibly even siring a bastard son and seek to have him legitimized, it occurs every now and then. Popular opinion in the Reach and most of Westeros is that ladies are ill-suited to rule, but they grudgingly accept their capability to carry out to sit in judgement during trials and thus uphold the king's justice. And she can always appoint knights to uphold the king's peace. A lady regnant (or any lady, really) actively involving herself in martial affairs is material for scandal and ridicule, although from time to time such women have accompanied their forces when the liege lord calls his banners, they would likely be denied to join the actual campaign once they march into enemy territory. As landed knights only upholds the king's peace, a daughter inheriting such a position would immediately pass it on to her husband, and the liege lord would likely dispense with inheritance customs if there is no husband or he finds him inadequate.
Warfare
More often than not, battle is not orderly. Usually the highest ranking lords are given the command, and while tactics is thought to lords and their sons, higher station usually does not imply higher ability. Adding to this is that many knights and lords have a mind of their own, it is not uncommon that all demand to be in the front ranks of the Vanguard in the vain desire for glory and ransoms. Sometimes they charge without orders or otherwise act independently to obstruct the battle plan. A battle is usually decided by breaking the will of the opposing side, and even long and hard fought battles involving many thousand men may have causalities of just a few hundreds if the losing side manages to retreat in good order. Often times, however, knights and lords will refuse to retreat, preferring death or capture instead of being branded a coward. If the losing side is routed however, the deaths may number in the thousands as they are cut down while fleeing and separated. Most men of high birth will instead yield and held for ransom, sometimes knights and lords are released on solemn promise never to raise arms against the side of their captor until ransom has been paid. Men that cannot pay ransom are usually executed. Captive foes are often equally numerous as slain ones. The ransom befalls the man whom captures his foe, thus many a knight have been motivated in battle to be the one to force the yield, sometimes dying for it, sometimes brawling with his allies. High ranking nobles, protected by their knights and sworn shields will often only surrender when one of the ranking commanders with their retinue approaches.
The usual strategy of offensive warfare is to move into the lands of the enemy to live off them, to raid, pillage and plunder to force your opponent to give battle in a place of your choosing and to advance upon your advantageous position, a victory will more often than not result in a rout and one may then proceed towards besieging the enemy, though if one has captured their leadership, terms might also be negotiated then and there. While many castles can be stormed, and there is a great honor to be the first over the walls or through the breach, most major castles are considered near impossible to take if properly garrisoned. Thus a siege commences until surrender (usually as supplies of food are depleted), equally often the besieging force itself runs out of supplies and are unable to feed itself off the lands and are forced to retreat. The dragons of House Targaryen upended that balance just as well as they could decimate armies in the field with nigh impunity, leading to the relatively swift fall of the seven kingdoms to Aegon the Conqueror.
Knighthood
Any knight can make a knight by having another man kneel before him and dub him seven times on the shoulders with his sword and lay the seven charges of a knight upon him, one from each of the seven. The knighting of noble sons usually also involves the soon to be knighted squire to spend the night in silent prayer at a sept, to be anointed with the seven oils by a septon in a morning sermon, and take holy vows. No such ceremony is strictly demanded however and being knighted in the field for one's prowess in battle or tourney is considered much more glorious. Knighthood is at once an honor, a profession and a title. The title lifts a man into nobility, though one's grown sons are usually not considered as such unless they themselves are also knights.
Their profession is to serve as highly trained and well equipped horsemen, to give their counsel in matters of war to their liege and to shield him with their life in battle. Few men that does not have the warhorse, arms and armor to properly serve in this capacity will be acknowledged as knights if claiming to be one. In the Reach, there is a tendency to require that witnesses needs to be provided to vouch for your status if you are not recognized by the heralds. It is also custom that whoever does the knighting will provide the equipment needed to perform one's role, and also offer the newly minted knight a place in his service, which involves food and lodging in return. Most ordinary knights spend most of their day in the practice yard, training for such time as they are called upon to serve in battle. And failing battles, there are always tourneys where one can ride for the glory and honor of themselves and the lords they serve. A lord will often call upon his knights to perform peacekeeping duties in his domains, deal with outlaws, patrol the roads and help train and raise smallfolk militia's and levies.
It is also an honor in so far as knights are widely regarded as more trustworthy and reliable than others, as The Seven Pointed Star spends many pages on the virtues that a knight is expected to observe (it does not specifically mention martial ability, though several passages refers to their duties in shielding and protecting maidens, the faith and so on.). A knight must be brave in face of death, gallant towards ladies, merciful towards surrendering enemies, protective of women and children, he must be faithful, loyal and truthful. And the man knighting another vouches for his character, that the new knight not only possesses the martial ability to perform his duties, but also the qualities of a true knight. Great shame is therefore attached in knighting someone for personal gain rather than as a justly deserved recognition. And a knight acting dishonorably often not only soils himself but also the man he serves and the man that gave him his spurs. Culturally, a knight is typically assumed to have these lofty qualities until clearly demonstrated otherwise.
For noble men, achieving knighthood is partly a rite of passage and partly an affirmation of one's quality. The knightly ideals are so ingrained in the Andal culture that failure to find a noble and honorable knight willing to take you on as a squire and then vouch for your character is a sign of shame and inadequacy, noble sons ill suited for knighthood typically joins the faith or the Citadel which is considered the honorable choice, though one often undesirable for a lord's heir, therefore "weakling" lords are not unheard of, while second and third sons are almost always knights of at least adequate ability (else they'd be maesters or septons).
The role of ladies
A cynic might claim that the life of an Andal lady is defined by her marriage, or lack of it. He would observe that the worst things a lady might do are those that would reflect badly upon her husband's honor. The perhaps worst of all sins is infidelity, reasonable one might say, considering that birthright is a centerpiece of Andal society, any doubt about the legitimacy of a lord's children will lead to naught but trouble. Thus any indication that a lady is not as faithful as she should be drastically reduces her esteem, and stains the honor of her husband. Even rumors and speculations tends to give rise to the idea that there is a reason for such words to be whispered. A lady is also supposed to obey and support her husband, in effect making any offensive comment she makes reflect badly not just upon her own restraint and courtesy, but also upon her husband's (or father's) ability to keep her properly disciplined.
The ideal lady is pious, courteous, graceful and deferential, never making any statement which might undermine her husband's ability to manage his affairs. And seven forbid if she took any of his martial duties upon herself. The reality of course, is that many ladies often have sharper tongues than any man, several are exercising power and influence so openly that others frown and very much look down on their husbands for allowing them. Though it is much more common for a lady to influence her husband within their own chambers, and more than one lord has been blessed with a capable wife willing to play the public role demanded by society. Should a lady give insult, the man so offended (or the husband or father or brother of the lady the words were directed towards) may demand of her husband or father to promise to see her disciplined or back her words with his sword, just as if he himself had spoken them.