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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 24, 2021 6:46:51 GMT 1
Location: The Perfumed Lady, Gardenton Time: After the Riverlands campaign, before the Appleton Feast.
With the annual bloodletting between the Blackwoods and Brackens finally resolved it was time for the knights of Summer to return to the Reach. Some would come back and act as if nothing had ever happened. Some would come back forever changed. Others would not come back at all. Balon led what was left of the soldiers he'd recruited many months ago west from Harrenhal then south along the God's eye until they crossed the Blackwater Rush at the Gold Road. Again they went south along the sweeping plains of the Reach until they reached the Mander, following it southwest to the Roseroad. It wasn't long until Highgarden came into view over the horizon. Balon had a specific reason for going to Highgarden. Before he'd left for Stone Hedge he arranged to meet with Laena in Gardenton when he returned. At the time he didn't know exactly when he'd be back but he knew she had enough little birds throughout the Reach to sing of his return.
He lodged at the Golden Rose, leaving his newly acquired squire Harold in charge of cleaning his armor and tending to his belongings. He ate in the common hall and waited for dark before heading to the pillowhouse. Much like his secret rendezvous with Lady Jeyne the Perfumed Lady offered rooms with private access for those keen on anonymity. Wearing a high collared cape with a soft leather skull cap Balon made his way to a private room.
While he waited he had some of the staff bathe him. Weeks on the road had not done much for his smell and his paranoia led him to wearing his breastplate for almost the entirety of the trip. His shoulders were sore and raw and while he waited he decided to have a girl massage him. He laid on the bed in his small clothes while the woman straddled him, working out the pain in his body. He closed his eyes, semi lucid as he dreamed of Laena. Her smell, her long Valyrian hair draped over his chest as she slept next to him, her animalistic fury during love making. He smiled.
Balon awoke some time later and didn't need to open his eyes to realize it was morning. The masseuse was long gone and as far as he could tell was the only one in the bed. A quick stretch of his arms and legs confirmed it. Balon lied to himself that he wasn't disappointed Laena hadn't joined him. Absence had made the heart grow fonder and he hoped the same had happened with her. He slowly rose from the bed and was surprised at how good he felt. He didn't know how long the girl had massaged him but his muscles felt more relaxed than they had in... Balon couldn't remember the last time he felt so relaxed.
Once dressed he made his way through the private access and to the front, thanking the hostess and paying for another night.
Day 2
Back at the Golden Rose he found Harold sound asleep. He moved quietly over to his arms and armor to see how diligent he'd been in his squire's duties. He smiled at the work. As a former blacksmith apprentice Harold had a keen sense of gear maintenance. What he lacked was training in the marital pursuits but he had drive. And why wouldn't he. Harold's family had been displaced during the war then killed by Ironhand's raiding. Drive and hatred would take the boy far in life and Balon was the man to hone his skill.... and his hatred.
"Wake up lad, we have a long day ahead of us." Harold rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and dressed. "Put on your leathers. We train after we eat." And train they did. Hard and long. Over and over. They started with swords but Harold was a natural with the warhammer. Not as elegant as a sword but brutally effective. They trained well past noon then ate again before heading into Gardenton. Before leaving for the Riverlands Balon had stopped at a seamstress and ordered three dresses, all for Laena. He didn't know her exact dimensions but he knew exactly what style he wanted. They were there ready for him to pick up and though expensive they were worth it. When asked who they were for Balon smiled but said nothing. The outfits were wrapped and Harold carried them as he went to several shops, looking for little trinkets to buy for his sister and mother.
People that interacted with Balon wouldn't have realized it but all of his walking-about was a distraction. Where is Laena? Why isn't she here yet? Was she delayed? Did someone know about us and kidnap her for leverage over me? The longer the day progressed the more outrageous the reasons for her absence became. Wanted or not memories flooded his mind; her saving him from his unintentional insult to Lord Leo. Her kindness and compassion at the vigil for his father. Their first kiss. The passionate, almost rough sex at Whitewalls. He flinched in ghost pain from the claw marks she'd left on his back. The sigil she'd designed for him. So many happy memories. And yet they still weren't married. Lady Erena and Lord Ulbert had made their opinions known on the union. Fucking cunts. An image suddenly appeared in Balon's mind, he was stabbing the pregnant girl at Riverthorn except she had Erena's face. Balon rapidly blinked away the grotesque imagery. He looked to Harold to see him staring back. He wondered how long he'd been staring into the distance, thinking of Laena and their romance over the last few months.
By nightfall Balon was anxious. He repeated the same pattern as the night before. After he ate and gave his final instructions to Harold he set off into the night and to the Perfumed Lady. He smiled at the hostess and made his way to the private room. He asked for a decanter of Arbor Red and 2 glasses along with some assorted fruits. He nibbled and drank lightly and stared at the door. Waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... The hostess came in and asked if someone was joining him, "Of course, she'll be here eventually." He fished some coin from his pocket. "Send in someone who can play the harp."
The hostess obliged and a young woman, scantily clad with long raven hair came in. She played, and played, and still no Laena. Balon didn't know how much time had passed but the young girl had performed every song she knew and was now repeating them. The Arbor red was gone and so was Balon's patience. "That will be enough. Go." Two nights of inaction had grated on Balon's nerves but what would he do? Run through the streets of Gardenton until he found her? How stupid. He laid down on the bed, a slight buzz from the wine making him tired. I'll just close my eyes for a bit. When I open them she'll be here.
Day 3...
Balon was not happy. He'd gone from anxious, to annoyed, to angry, to fearful. When morning came he stormed back to the Golden Rose and roughly woke Harold. "Training. Now." Balon wasn't cruel to Harold but he didn't take it easy on him during their training. By the time the sparring was over Harold was bruised and exhausted and Balon was sweaty. He sent his squire to their room to clean up, then go to the common room and await his return. While standing in the training yard drinking water a small waif of a girl approached him. She stood their staring at him with great big doe eyes, silently waiting for him to say something.
"What do you want girl." His eyes narrowed, naturally suspicious. "I met a real nice lady this morning." she said in a conspiratorial tone. "She wants to meet you too." The girl scratched her head in thought, clearly trying to remember what she been told. "I'm s'posed to ask you what your name is. Isn't that weird?" she laughed, "She knows you but still needs to know your name when she comes to see you." Balon stared at her for a moment before the revelation set in. Laena didn't know what to do when she got to the Perfumed Lady. Of course....
Balon knelt down and fished out a couple of coppers. "You tell this nice lady she is to meet Ser Daeron of Dusekendale. If you can remember that you can spend these coppers on some sweetcakes. How does that sound?" The little girl's eyes lit up. "Yes! Yes! Of course I can r'member." Balon put the coppers in her palm and closed her hand. "Ser Daeron of Duskendale." He said slowly. The hostess would know what to do from there. After the girl left it felt like Balon was gliding on air. His heart started pounding and he found himself short of breath. For fucks sake pull it together. You've fought in a war and already bedded her. What is wrong with you. Balon let out a short giddy laugh and rushed back to the inn. He changed and went down to the common room to meet Harold.
What happened the rest of the day was a mystery to Balon. He did things. He talked. He ate but he couldn't remember any of it in detail. His thoughts were consumed with the image of Laena. Come night Balon was again at the Perfumed Lady. He told the hostess a woman would be there to see him and who they'd ask for. "Discretion is extremely important." Balon said as he slipped coin into her hand. He'd arrived earlier than normal and had the whores bathe him (again) and brought mint leaves for him to chew on. A wardrobe had been brought in for him to store his clothes as well as her gifts. He paced back and forth waiting, having a couple of drinks to calm his nerves.
He exhaled loudly and shook the nervousness from his arms.
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 24, 2021 18:38:28 GMT 1
Laena had been waiting in Highgarden for over a week, now, having left for there as soon as the fastest of those who hadn't had injuries worth waiting on had started trickling back. She knew of Balon's arrival the day it happened. But if she'd shown up that fight night, it would be ... expected. Oh, he'd be glad to see her, no doubt, but it would have seemed like she was working to his schedule. Like he was more important than she was. No, that wouldn't do at all. Three days, to build tension, anticipation. And on the dawn of the third day, an agent would approach. He'd be frenzied about her, as he should be. She'd even been tempted to disguise herself and spy on him to see for herself. But she'd restrained herself.
And now, it was time. Both excited to see him again, and worried over what she might learn this eve.
The Squire made his way down the street, head deferentially tilted downward, with just a hint of black hair poking out from under his cap. His clothes fine enough to prove he's not one of the smallfolk, but not so fine as to indicate great wealth or status, and rather loosely fitted on him. Just another young man on the streets, walking into the Perfumed Lady making use of his leisure time for some 'personal time'.
While the squire wasn't her best work, and wasn't really designed to hold up for long in close quarters, Laena was a little put out that she'd not even opened her mouth before she saw the hostess' mouth quirk up in a small smile, implying she'd seen through the disguise. "Here for Ser Daeron of Duskendale." She says simply and quietly, if with a bit of a sharp edge revealed from her bruised pride.
A slight concern that Balon would play a prank on her with the name was relieved when she entered the room she was directed to and saw him standing there. And in that moment, she forgot her worries about what Balon had done, and just saw the man who had supported and loved her at every step. Closing the door behind her, she removes her hat, revealing that most of her hair has retained its natural colour, and hopes its new shorter length is mostly hidden by her body.
"Balon." She breathed. "Feels like it's been over a year since last we met." An inviting smile. "Miss me?"
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 25, 2021 7:43:14 GMT 1
[Phase 4] Support the Troops, Willpower (Dedication): 4d6k3 12Balon's first instinct was to run to her, tear off her clothes, and ravage every inch of her body. Her cunny was Valyria and his cock would be the Doom. He hadn't had sex since they'd last been together nor had he relieved himself in that time. Now that she was here his body was painfully reminding him of that fact. With great restraint he stood there, soaking in the imagery. She was smaller than he remembered, his mind giving her a height that'd matched her personality. She was as beautiful as ever but Balon noticed her hair. Th partial color change had drawn his eyes and it took him a moment to realize what was (literally) missing. If he disapproved he didn't say and instead made eye contact with her. A grin slowly changed to a full smile. He moved over to her wrapping his left arm around her lower back and caressing her cheek with his right hand, "Ñuha jorrāelagon, skorkydoso eman missed ao." He leaned down and kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth. He closed his eyes, joy washing over him as they embraced. While they kissed his hands made their way to her butt and he gave her cheeks a firm squeeze before picking her up and moving her towards the bed. He gently sat her down and towered over her, lust beginning to overwhelm him. As he took off his clothes he said in a playful tone, "My lady I regret to inform you clothing is not allowed in this room. If you fail to comply there will be consequences." He moved in to enforce the dress code.
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 25, 2021 12:45:39 GMT 1
Laena grins, not moving to undress herself, but cooperating as Balon moves to do it for her, removing her masculine outer clothes, and revealing her decidedly feminine underclothes. "Oh? And what are those consequences? You entering history as the first man to die of sexual frustration in a brothel?" Her smile widens as Balon swiftly and methodically exposes her. "Because I was thinking we should spend some time just talking, you know? There's no doubt a lot to catch up on. Spend the next few hours exchanging stories. I mean, if you're *really* desperate, then maybe a bit of cuddl-" at that point, she couldn't continue teasing him more, his expression sending her into a bout of giggles.
Her grin wavers slightly as she sees a nasty new scar on his chest, but she swallows her emotions, and the grin returns. Her eyes continue assessing her property, seeing what other damage Balon let happen to it, observing that he's leaner than he was before. Looking up at his starving eyes, she plays a bit more as she lets him continue to undress her. "You look like you've been hungry. You have to take care. You have a big.." her gaze deliberately flicks downwards briefly, and she unconsciously bites her bottom lip before her eyes return to his "..appetite".
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 26, 2021 16:52:43 GMT 1
Laena allowing Balon to undress her elevated his desire. He'd lifted her legs to remove the last of her smallclothes then held one leg up, placing small kisses on the side of her calf and working his way up her inner thigh until she said, "Because I was thinking we should spend some time just talking, you know? There's no doubt a lot to catch up on. Spend the next few hours exchanging stories. I mean, if you're *really* desperate, then maybe a bit of cuddl-" at that point, she couldn't continue teasing him more, his expression sending her into a bout of giggles. He stopped mid kiss and looked up to her with a mix of confusion and horror on his face. His mouth was open but he found himself unable to speak until she started to giggle. His expression quickly changed to faux-anger. "Why you little..." He lunged forward and was on top of her in an instant, tickling her weak points that he'd discovered during their time together. "You want to laugh? How's this?" When he believed she'd been properly punished he kissed her long and hard as his fingers went from tickling to exploration. As he worked his fingers down to her nethers he was pleasantly surprised to feel she indeed had something to wet his "appetite". Their lovemaking was both fierce and passionate. Balon had chose the Perfumed Lady to allow Laena to unleash herself. No amount of noise from their room would be considered unusual in a place like this. On and on they went until Balon felt himself nearing completion. Unable to form words he simply grunted in satisfaction as he pulled her close, months or build up finally being unleashed. Despite him emptying his seed deep into her he didn't stop until it became physically impossible to continue. Finally sated Balon rolled off of Laena, satisfied and breathing heavily. "By the Seven I fucking love you." he looked over and smiled. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Balon laid there, unaware of how much time had passed as he gently stroked Laena's smooth skin. His ability to think and speak had slowly returned and he was anxious to see how she'd been since he'd left. "I brought gifts. You can decide when you want to see them."
"How have you been?"
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 26, 2021 19:43:08 GMT 1
Finally sated Balon rolled off of Laena, satisfied and breathing heavily. "By the Seven I fucking love you." he looked over and smiled. "Urrrgh." She groans in pain. "I'd say that I'd prefer to hear that not straight after you've seemingly tried to pound my body through the earth all the way to Yi Ti, but I think that doesn't leave you a whole lot of opportunities." She languidly slaps his chest with the back of her hand to try and rob her words of their bite. "I brought gifts. You can decide when you want to see them."
"How have you been?" "When I can walk again. So, next month, maybe." A small smile reveals she's nowhere near as dissatisfied as her grousing might imply. "How have I been? Hmmmmm." She considers a few moments. "It's honestly been fairly quiet, with so many troublemakers off in the Riverlands." A quick smirk at him before she resumes looking up at the ceiling. "I got crowned Queen of Love and Beauty! It was a small tourney, and it's not like it actually *means* anything, but it was nice."She thinks a moment more. "Oh!" She excitedly pats his stomach. "You'll like this one. I publicly picked a fight with a Dornishman." She continues in a more normal tone. "Not because he was Dornish, rather because he was a fanatical septon cut from the same cloth as Septon Abelar, trying to join the Most Devout. I made sure to remind people of the price good men like your father have to pay with men like that around with little power, let alone among that exalted crowd. And I helped tip the balance away from him towards Septon Roland, who actually seems like a good and honest man, believe it or not. Sooo yeah. If you hear anything from or about a 'Septon Oberyn', be aware that he *utterly loathes* me now. And he wanted to burn me alive at the stake beforehand."She frowns in thought. "Honestly, those are the main things that happened to me. Overall, it's been really boring! I'm glad all of you are back. Hopefully things will liven up some, now.
"How about you? Can't imagine you had the same problem. What have you been up to? Seiges? Raids?" Murdering unborn babes? She doesn't say.
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 27, 2021 7:10:32 GMT 1
"Urrrgh." She groans in pain. "I'd say that I'd prefer to hear that not straight after you've seemingly tried to pound my body through the earth all the way to Yi Ti, but I think that doesn't leave you a whole lot of opportunities." She languidly slaps his chest with the back of her hand to try and rob her words of their bite. "When I can walk again. So, next month, maybe." A small smile reveals she's nowhere near as dissatisfied as her grousing might imply. Instead of an 'I love you' all I get is an 'Urrgh'. While the light hearted slap alleviated some of the the sting the pain of not hearing those words remained. "Would you prefer I say it during walks along the Mander? Or perhaps a day at the Tyrell's beach? Maybe I can whisper it in your ear at the next ball some lord inevitably hosts. Don't worry I'll be sure to say it in Valyrian so one knows how I feel about you." He returned her smile, "Your choice, though I think you'll be quite happy with what I've picked out." "I got crowned Queen of Love and Beauty! It was a small tourney, and it's not like it actually *means* anything, but it was nice."She thinks a moment more. "Oh!" She excitedly pats his stomach. "You'll like this one. I publicly picked a fight with a Dornishman." She continues in a more normal tone. "Not because he was Dornish, rather because he was a fanatical septon cut from the same cloth as Septon Abelar, trying to join the Most Devout. I made sure to remind people of the price good men like your father have to pay with men like that around with little power, let alone among that exalted crowd. And I helped tip the balance away from him towards Septon Roland, who actually seems like a good and honest man, believe it or not. Sooo yeah. If you hear anything from or about a 'Septon Oberyn', be aware that he *utterly loathes* me now. And he wanted to burn me alive at the stake beforehand."She frowns in thought. "Honestly, those are the main things that happened to me. Overall, it's been really boring! I'm glad all of you are back. Hopefully things will liven up some, now Balon was instantly jealous of her being crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty by someone other than himself. "Who was it?" It was plain to Laena Balon was envious. He let out a large sigh, "I wish I could win tournaments for you." He stared at the ceiling as he spoke, "But Fireball trained me for war, not pageantry. I do well enough but to be able to crown you Queen? By the Seven I'd want to see the look on your face. The pride. The joy..." Balon trailed off, abruptly stopping his own pity party. When she spoke of the Dornish septon Balon perked up. "Dornish and cut from the same cloth as Abelar." He could feel the anger rising in him as he envisioned a Rhoynish Abelar. "If he comes after you and thinks his devotion to the Seven will shield him..." Balon stuttered a little, deciding how far he'd go, "I'll fucking cut him into seven pieces. Is he still in Oldtown? Has he threatened you since then?" There was a clear mix of concern and bravado in Balon's voice. "How about you? Can't imagine you had the same problem. What have you been up to? Seiges? Raids?" "The Riverlands..." Balon stopped to think how much detail she'd want to know. "I don't know what I was expecting to be honest. We all knew *why* we were going and I knew things would probably culminate in a large battle before the Iron Throne stepped in but... it was mixed."He propped himself up on an elbow and started from the beginning. "Things started off very well. Throughout the Reach I recruited knights, men-at-arms, and sellswords. So many men heeded my call." He shook his head in disbelief. "Out of all of the Bracken supporters I brought the largest contingent to Stone Hedge." A sense of pride washed over him as he relived the memory. "When everyone had gathered there was a large war council and out of all the great knights there I was the most impressive that day. I was motivated and my tactical acumen was plain for all to see. I was given first pick of the missions and took the hardest one available; Pennytree." Balon went into detail about the siege of Pennytree. The plan he devised. The arrangement of his forces. The adjustments made in the heat of battle. While he gave credit to Redtusk for opening the gate he subtly let Laena know his devil-may-care attitude cost lives. "He opened the gate and I will be forever grateful but if he'd *led* his men and fought with them instead of rushing ahead, more of them would've made it back to camp. When it was all over I had a choice to make. Kill the defenders, loot everything of value, and burn it to the ground or ransom Ser Robyn Rivers and keep the town intact and hope it'd be awarded to the Brackens when the war ended. I think I made he right choice." Balon smiled, "I still came away with over two hundred gold dragons."
"After that there was Blackbuckle. What a fucking mess." His shoulders sagged a little as he began to tell the tale. "The Ironhand had been raping, murdering, burning, and pillaging across Bracken lands and we'd learned he and his riders were resupplying at Blackbuckle. We set out to put the town to siege and force him out. Things went well at first. Trenches were dug. A palisade was being prepared. No issues. There was a relief force enroute but the Red Lion and Wildfyre went to stop them. The reward for Ironhand was huge, I couldn't say no to something like that. Perhaps that's why I wasn't prepared for what happened next." Balon talked of the Red Lion and how the Brackens defeated the relief force only to find out it was a decoy and a much larger force was on the way. "A trap. One we were able to avoid thankfully." From there the Red Lion retreated with the infantry while Balon led the pursuers on bloody game of cat and mouse. "A simple siege, turned into a failed trap, turned into a slaughter." By Balon's account his riders had inflicted so many casualties that almost the entire Blackwood pursuit force was annihilated. "I lost less than ten men. The Blackwoods lost hundreds. If only I'd been a little more clever I could have wiped them off the face of Westeros. The Ironhand was leading them and I outwitted him. How I wish I could've met him in combat. Exhausted from his vain pursuit, no escape possible." Balon shook his head, "I had no idea my wish would be granted sooner than later." Balon mentioned the sneak attack on his camp and how he'd been roused from a deep sleep to instill order into the disorganized men and put out the fires before they got out of hand. "It's funny. I was having a dream that night. Blackfyre had won the rebellion and there was a victory parade in King's Landing. You were my wife and everyone cheered us. We'd finally gotten the recognition we'd deserved."
"And then there was Battle Valley. I was denied a command you know. I had proven so much in the Riverlands whether it was the war council, Pennytree, or the escape from Blackbuckle. I guess it wasn't enough." He said ruefully. "Don't get me wrong it's hard to argue with the knights selected when they're named Bittersteel, Fireball, and Lord Walgrave but still..." Laena could tell Balon had been deeply hurt by being passed over. "When the battle lines were drawn I saw Lord Blackwood was leading from the front. Stupid boy. By exposing himself like that his capture would ensure our victory. So I took a chance. Ser Parmen was at my side and we rushed the center. We killed eight knights and were almost there when the Ironhand and several of his knights stood between us. We almost killed him. It was so close but Parmen was already injured and didn't last long. A couple of knights dogpiled me and I struggled to break free." Balon's voice was a mix of regret and disappointment. "We almost had him... we almost had him." He broke free from his melancholy and finished the story. "Ironhand was worse off than me but his remaining knights were fresh. I'm good but not three vs. one good when bleeding like a fucking stuck pig from my chest. I did what I had to. I withdrew." Balon laid back down on his back. "There you have it. Thousands upon thousands of gold dragons and victory for the Brackens slipped through my fingers. Not a day goes by that I don't relive that moment, trying to think of a way of coming out the victor."
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 27, 2021 16:14:40 GMT 1
"Would you prefer I say it during walks along the Mander? Or perhaps a day at the Tyrell's beach? Maybe I can whisper it in your ear at the next ball some lord inevitably hosts. Don't worry I'll be sure to say it in Valyrian so one knows how I feel about you." Laena turns her head, leans forward, and gives him a quick peck on the lips. "I'm being unfair, I know. I'm sorry." She buries her face into his neck. "Avy jorrāelan" she mutters quietly into his neck, where he'd be unable to see her face. Balon was instantly jealous of her being crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty by someone other than himself. "Who was it?" It was plain to Laena Balon was envious. He let out a large sigh, "I wish I could win tournaments for you." He stared at the ceiling as he spoke, "But Fireball trained me for war, not pageantry. I do well enough but to be able to crown you Queen? By the Seven I'd want to see the look on your face. The pride. The joy..." Balon trailed off, abruptly stopping his own pity party. Laena strokes his cheek and smiles indulgently. "No need for jealousy. It was a simple transaction: he gets the prestige of the favour of a princess, I get a talented knight wearing my favour. No more than that. Don't regret how you are. There are a thousand knights of summer, who are getting a harsh lesson in how the world is when the seasons change. Your chances of getting through this with not just your life, but with great profit are far greater because of the sacrifices you have already made. You are not fighting to give me a crown, which will wilt and die within days, but to give me a cloak, which will last our lives. I promise you, my expression then will be one no-one else has seen or will see."When she spoke of the Dornish septon Balon perked up. "Dornish and cut from the same cloth as Abelar." He could feel the anger rising in him as he envisioned a Rhoynish Abelar. "If he comes after you and thinks his devotion to the Seven will shield him..." Balon stuttered a little, deciding how far he'd go, "I'll fucking cut him into seven pieces. Is he still in Oldtown? Has he threatened you since then?" There was a clear mix of concern and bravado in Balon's voice. Laena smiles again, and plays with his chest. "Calm yourself, he's just yelled at me a bit. And he wasn't even hunting me when he did it, he just ran into me by accident. I don't expect anything worse than few nasty rumours coming from it."He propped himself up on an elbow and started from the beginning. "Things started off very well. Throughout the Reach I recruited knights, men-at-arms, and sellswords. So many men heeded my call." He shook his head in disbelief. "Out of all of the Bracken supporters I brought the largest contingent to Stone Hedge." A sense of pride washed over him as he relived the memory. "When everyone had gathered there was a large war council and out of all the great knights there I was the most impressive that day. I was motivated and my tactical acumen was plain for all to see. I was given first pick of the missions and took the hardest one available; Pennytree." Balon went into detail about the siege of Pennytree. The plan he devised. The arrangement of his forces. The adjustments made in the heat of battle. While he gave credit to Redtusk for opening the gate he subtly let Laena know his devil-may-care attitude cost lives. "He opened the gate and I will be forever grateful but if he'd *led* his men and fought with them instead of rushing ahead, more of them would've made it back to camp. When it was all over I had a choice to make. Kill the defenders, loot everything of value, and burn it to the ground or ransom Ser Robyn Rivers and keep the town intact and hope it'd be awarded to the Brackens when the war ended. I think I made he right choice." Balon smiled, "I still came away with over two hundred gold dragons."
Laena stays silent as to her help in his recruitment. She listens attentively as he describes the battle, fingers twitching as she mentally moves units around like pieces on a map to match the description. "You absolutely made the right decision." She gave him an encouraging kiss. "With every decision like that made, you strike a serious blow against your deadliest foe: your own bad reputation.""After that there was Blackbuckle. What a fucking mess."His shoulders sagged a little as he began to tell the tale. "The Ironhand had been raping, murdering, burning, and pillaging across Bracken lands and we'd learned he and his riders were resupplying at Blackbuckle. We set out to put the town to siege and force him out. Things went well at first. Trenches were dug. A palisade was being prepared. No issues. There was a relief force enroute but the Red Lion and Wildfyre went to stop them. The reward for Ironhand was huge, I couldn't say no to something like that. Perhaps that's why I wasn't prepared for what happened next." Balon talked of the Red Lion and how the Brackens defeated the relief force only to find out it was a decoy and a much larger force was on the way. "A trap. One we were able to avoid thankfully." From there the Red Lion retreated with the infantry while Balon led the pursuers on bloody game of cat and mouse. "A simple siege, turned into a failed trap, turned into a slaughter." By Balon's account his riders had inflicted so many casualties that almost the entire Blackwood pursuit force was annihilated. "I lost less than ten men. The Blackwoods lost hundreds. If only I'd been a little more clever I could have wiped them off the face of Westeros. The Ironhand was leading them and I outwitted him. How I wish I could've met him in combat. Exhausted from his vain pursuit, no escape possible." Balon shook his head, "I had no idea my wish would be granted sooner than later." While her reaction to his last tale was more intellectual, this one was more emotional, as she was clearly invested in the pendulum swings of fate involved. "You did enough. Far too many good men - and women - have fallen in an impatient pursuit of 'perfection'. Be happy with the great victory you achieved, and take what you didn't accomplish as mere proof that you are still but a man, not The Warrior Himself."Balon mentioned the sneak attack on his camp and how he'd been roused from a deep sleep to instill order into the disorganized men and put out the fires before they got out of hand. "It's funny. I was having a dream that night. Blackfyre had won the rebellion and there was a victory parade in King's Landing. You were my wife and everyone cheered us. We'd finally gotten the recognition we'd deserved."
Laena's smile turned decidedly smug. "A good dream. And with enough Pennytrees ..." That she explicitly mentioned a military victory where he behaved chivalrously was hopefully not lost on him. "And then there was Battle Valley. I was denied a command you know. I had proven so much in the Riverlands whether it was the war council, Pennytree, or the escape from Blackbuckle. I guess it wasn't enough."He said ruefully. "Don't get me wrong it's hard to argue with the knights selected when they're named Bittersteel, Fireball, and Lord Walgrave but still..." Laena could tell Balon had been deeply hurt by being passed over. "When the battle lines were drawn I saw Lord Blackwood was leading from the front. Stupid boy. By exposing himself like that his capture would ensure our victory. So I took a chance. Ser Parmen was at my side and we rushed the center. We killed eight knights and were almost there when the Ironhand and several of his knights stood between us. We almost killed him. It was so close but Parmen was already injured and didn't last long. A couple of knights dogpiled me and I struggled to break free." Balon's voice was a mix of regret and disappointment. "We almost had him... we almost had him." He broke free from his melancholy and finished the story. "Ironhand was worse off than me but his remaining knights were fresh. I'm good but not three vs. one good when bleeding like a fucking stuck pig from my chest. I did what I had to. I withdrew." Balon laid back down on his back. "There you have it. Thousands upon thousands of gold dragons and victory for the Brackens slipped through my fingers. Not a day goes by that I don't relive that moment, trying to think of a way of coming out the victor." "Command is more about status than competence." She rubs his arm soothingly, assuming he knew that, but needed the support. "If you had the lands Lord Walgrave has, and he had yours, you would have been chosen, and him passed over. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your father being the younger brother.
"There is no way the Lord of House Blackwood wouldn't have every protection possible around him. Two knights, no matter how skilled, likely had no chance. Although..." She bites her lip in thought. "Hypothetically ... if there *was* a way to make you better - good enough to defeat Ironhand at Blackbuckle, and capture Lord Blackwood at Battle Valley - I presume you'd be interested? But what if there was a terrible price involved? What if, as part of the price, you had to abandon your family, your friends, .... me. Everyone. Sever all connections to mortality and humanity. Live with naught but the Warrior on your right shoulder, and the Stranger on your left. Would you? If that was the only way to accomplish those feats that haunt your thoughts, would you pay that price?"
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 28, 2021 7:21:58 GMT 1
Laena turns her head, leans forward, and gives him a quick peck on the lips. "I'm being unfair, I know. I'm sorry." She buries her face into his neck. "Avy jorrāelan" she mutters quietly into his neck, where he'd be unable to see her face. He kissed the top of her hear as she said I love you. "I know." He remembered how she'd acted the first time she'd admitted to it and how vulnerable it'd made her. He smiled at the memory. Laena strokes his cheek and smiles indulgently. "No need for jealousy. It was a simple transaction: he gets the prestige of the favour of a princess, I get a talented knight wearing my favour. No more than that. Don't regret how you are. There are a thousand knights of summer, who are getting a harsh lesson in how the world is when the seasons change. Your chances of getting through this with not just your life, but with great profit are far greater because of the sacrifices you have already made. You are not fighting to give me a crown, which will wilt and die within days, but to give me a cloak, which will last our lives. I promise you, my expression then will be one no-one else has seen or will see."Laena smiles again, and plays with his chest. "Calm yourself, he's just yelled at me a bit. And he wasn't even hunting me when he did it, he just ran into me by accident. I don't expect anything worse than few nasty rumours coming from it."
Whatever jealousy Balon had for the mystery knight faded at the mention of marriage. She had a knack for knowing what to say to balance his humors and the mention of marriage was one of the most surefire ways to achieve it. He beamed with pride knowing one day she'd be Laena Blackbriar. As to the septon Balon had to get one last bit of bravado out, "You just be sure to let me know if he accosts you in anyway. With him being Dornish no one will put our connection together." Balon was quiet for a moment at the mention of rumors, thinking back to Highgarden, "Speaking of rumors, what was it they called you at the Highgarden? The Black Widow?" He let out a short burst of laughter. Laena stays silent as to her help in his recruitment. She listens attentively as he describes the battle, fingers twitching as she mentally moves units around like pieces on a map to match the description. "You absolutely made the right decision." She gave him an encouraging kiss. "With every decision like that made, you strike a serious blow against your deadliest foe: your own bad reputation."While her reaction to his last tale was more intellectual, the one to Blackbuckle one was more emotional, as she was clearly invested in the pendulum swings of fate involved. "You did enough. Far too many good men - and women - have fallen in an impatient pursuit of 'perfection'. Be happy with the great victory you achieved, and take what you didn't accomplish as mere proof that you are still but a man, not The Warrior Himself."Laena's smile turned decidedly smug. "A good dream. And with enough Pennytrees ..." That she explicitly mentioned a military victory where he behaved chivalrously was hopefully not lost on him. "Command is more about status than competence." She rubs his arm soothingly, assuming he knew that, but needed the support. "If you had the lands Lord Walgrave has, and he had yours, you would have been chosen, and him passed over. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your father being the younger brother.Her repetition of Pennytree was not lost on Balon. He knew what his reputation was and while he wanted to improve it he often found himself doing things that were antithetical to achieving that goal. Throughout his retelling of the Riverlands Laena had encouraged him and reassured him that he'd made the right decisions and a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders. In his heart he knew why he'd been passed over for command but to hear it from her lips made it somehow more palatable. "Increasing my status among the nobility is something I've been working on. It's a slow climb but I feel like I'm almost there." Balon smirked, "Of course being married to a princess might give me that final push." He gave her a gentle squeeze to emphasize his point. "There is no way the Lord of House Blackwood wouldn't have every protection possible around him. Two knights, no matter how skilled, likely had no chance. Although..." She bites her lip in thought. "Hypothetically ... if there *was* a way to make you better - good enough to defeat Ironhand at Blackbuckle, and capture Lord Blackwood at Battle Valley - I presume you'd be interested? But what if there was a terrible price involved? What if, as part of the price, you had to abandon your family, your friends, .... me. Everyone. Sever all connections to mortality and humanity. Live with naught but the Warrior on your right shoulder, and the Stranger on your left. Would you? If that was the only way to accomplish those feats that haunt your thoughts, would you pay that price?" "No. I wouldn't." The answer was instant. "Do I crave that kind of ability? Of course I do. Who wouldn't want to be the best in the world at their craft, but not at that price. To abandon my family, my friends, *you*. No." Balon shook his head dismissively. "It may not seem like it, but I love my family. My blood-kin." He hoped his clarification made it clear Lady Erena was not included. "I'll go to great lengths to see them safe and succeed in life. Sometimes my actions may not make sense but there is a purpose behind them. And that purpose is the advancement of me, my siblings, the Peakes, and soon to be the Oakhearts. Seven willing you'll be part of that too."Balon wasn't quite sure why she'd asked but thought he'd pose the same question, "Would you?"
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 28, 2021 21:14:41 GMT 1
"Speaking of rumors, what was it they called you at the Highgarden? The Black Widow?" He let out a short burst of laughter. Laena wrinkles her nose. "I'm honestly surprised it took that long. It's an inescapable fact that my husband died young. Still, 'Black Widow' has a pleasantly dangerous ring to it. Named after a species of spider where the female kills the male after mating.
"On a completely unrelated note, could you pass me Legacy, please, then lie face-down, looking away from me?" Her grin and tone are not even attempting to make the request seem serious. "Increasing my status among the nobility is something I've been working on. It's a slow climb but I feel like I'm almost there." Balon smirked, "Of course being married to a princess might give me that final push." He gave her a gentle squeeze to emphasize his point. She smiles. "Maybe, but I want to see how far you can reach with your own arms." Her smile turns vicious. "And, maybe, I want to see you gain land while seemingly available, have the usual bleating herds of harlots suddenly interestedly cluster around you, before they witness you choose *me* over them. Because, it turns out that, yes, I really am that petty.""No. I wouldn't." The answer was instant. "Do I crave that kind of ability? Of course I do. Who wouldn't want to be the best in the world at their craft, but not at that price. To abandon my family, my friends, *you*. No." Balon shook his head dismissively. "It may not seem like it, but I love my family. My blood-kin." He hoped his clarification made it clear Lady Erena was not included. "I'll go to great lengths to see them safe and succeed in life. Sometimes my actions may not make sense but there is a purpose behind them. And that purpose is the advancement of me, my siblings, the Peakes, and soon to be the Oakhearts. Seven willing you'll be part of that too."Balon wasn't quite sure why she'd asked but thought he'd pose the same question, "Would you?" She shakes her head. "No." Though her answer is soft, rather than emphatic. "But ... sometimes I think the choice may be being taken from me. Vernan ... Bryce ... Ashara ... I feel each death has in some way, to a greater or lesser degree, changed me. Colder, sharper, more ... seeing people as pieces, rather than *people*." She squeezes his hand. "And I don't want that. I *like* people. Well, interesting people, anyway." She gives him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'm not there yet. I still have you, my brother, and my children all still anchoring me. But I ... I sometimes feel like my two halves are distinct. There's The Dragon - cold and distant, an inhuman monster, surrounded by The Human. Each death weakens the latter and exposes more and more of the former.
"Nyke ūndegon* zirȳla isse ñuha ēdrugon" She mutters into his chest. *While the first meaning of this word is 'catch', in this case, it is meant in the secondary meaning 'see'.
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on May 31, 2021 7:00:35 GMT 1
Laena wrinkles her nose. "I'm honestly surprised it took that long. It's an inescapable fact that my husband died young. Still, 'Black Widow' has a pleasantly dangerous ring to it. Named after a species of spider where the female kills the male after mating. On a completely unrelated note, could you pass me Legacy, please, then lie face-down, looking away from me?" Her grin and tone are not even attempting to make the request seem serious. He smirked at her jape and amusedly asked, "Is that a subtle way of telling me you've decided against taking moon tea later?" He knew her stance on bastards but never passed on an opportunity to let her know about his desire to have children with her. He continued to act as if he'd drawn the wrong conclusion by her nature lesson, "If that's the case may I suggest we elope before you try your hand at wielding Legacy. Blackbriar is a better last name than Flower plus it puts our child third in line to inherit Gyldenhaal." His smirk had grown into a big smile, "I only ask you name our child Aeric if it's a boy and Baela if it's a girl." Balon was doing his best to maintain the charade, "Does the male spider get anything out of mating? You'd think she'd do something worth his while before killing him." He let out a happy sigh, "Balon and the Black Widow... Sounds like a cautionary tale parents tell to their children while sitting around the hearth." Balon stretched out his arms and legs before resettling, "Still, I like it. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?"
She smiles. "Maybe, but I want to see how far you can reach with your own arms." Her smile turns vicious. "And, maybe, I want to see you gain land while seemingly available, have the usual bleating herds of harlots suddenly interestedly cluster around you, before they witness you choose *me* over them. Because, it turns out that, yes, I really am that petty." "You might be too old by then." He said nonchalantly knowing full well there'd be retribution for the comment. "Are you aware of a title that is up for grabs? A lord in need of a landed knight? A lesser lord whose line dies with him? Otherwise I need my uncle to die, his heir to die, and his wife to die before she gives birth. Then Blackbriar lands will be mine."
"*Maybe* you could quietly push for our marriage and *maybe* when Ser Daemon is on the throne we're awarded all of the Starkwood and maybe we spend the rest of our days fucking, having children, and becoming the 11th principal bannerman of the Tyrells. That doesn't sound very boring." It was a tall order and a lot of things had to go right, primarily Blackfyre declaring and winning the civil war (and surviving it) but Balon could never be accused of reaching too low. She shakes her head. "No." Though her answer is soft, rather than emphatic. "But ... sometimes I think the choice may be being taken from me. Vernan ... Bryce ... Ashara ... I feel each death has in some way, to a greater or lesser degree, changed me. Colder, sharper, more ... seeing people as pieces, rather than *people*." She squeezes his hand. "And I don't want that. I *like* people. Well, interesting people, anyway." She gives him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'm not there yet. I still have you, my brother, and my children all still anchoring me. But I ... I sometimes feel like my two halves are distinct. There's The Dragon - cold and distant, an inhuman monster, surrounded by The Human. Each death weakens the latter and exposes more and more of the former.
"Nyke ūndegon* zirȳla isse ñuha ēdrugon" She mutters into his chest. "Don't let the world dictate who you choose to be. We always have a choice even if it doesn't seem like it." Balon sat upright and encouraged her to do so. He outstretched his hands, palms up, waiting for her to place her hands in his, "Look at the people you mentioned. Ser Vernan. A safe choice for a husband, a boring choice for a husband. Your short marriage to him and his death opened up more opportunity for you even if you didn't see it at the time. Lord Bryce; a man that died less than two weeks after you met him. Did that really change you? How could it have?" Balon wasn't quite sure where he was going but he wanted it to end with him. "Despite those two being taken away from you look where you are now. You took a chance on me, when every one probably told you I wasn't worth it. I was an idiot, a blackguard but you chose me. And now here you are in love, with me. Happy, with me. Why would the loss of those two do that to you? Excluding land and titles what did they give you that I haven't? Safety?" Balon assumed that'd be her response and answered it before she could say it, "What makes you think you'd be any safer with them than me when the war starts?" "As for Lady Ashara," Balon wanted to barf at what he was about to say but there were kernels of truth to it, "I know what it's like to lose someone that close She was like a sister to you and despite our dislike of one another she didn't deserve her fate. But it only turns you into a Dragon if you let it. Donnel's death didn't make me abandon my faith to the Seven. It didn't make me hate all septons. I didn't murder Abelar in cold blood because I chose not to." Balon had grown frustrated as he tried to explain why she shouldn't feel the way she did and let out a calming breath. "What I'm trying to say is I feel that way too. I see myself as both Balon the Brave and Balon the Blackguard, each half fighting for control but I ultimately decide what I allow myself to be." "I will always be here for you. No matter how much the Dragon tries to erode the Human I will be your anchor. You can confide in me, love me, yell at me, whatever it takes to bring you back to the woman that allows herself to be true around me. You are not a monster!" he said emphatically. "We look at smallfolk and those beneath us as pieces because they *are* pieces. Don't feel ashamed. In reality we're all pieces on a board. Some just happen to control more than others."
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Post by Laena Pyre on May 31, 2021 21:21:51 GMT 1
He smirked at her jape and amusedly asked, "Is that a subtle way of telling me you've decided against taking moon tea later?" He knew her stance on bastards but never passed on an opportunity to let her know about his desire to have children with her. He continued to act as if he'd drawn the wrong conclusion by her nature lesson, "If that's the case may I suggest we elope before you try your hand at wielding Legacy. Blackbriar is a better last name than Flower plus it puts our child third in line to inherit Gyldenhaal." His smirk had grown into a big smile, "I only ask you name our child Aeric if it's a boy and Baela if it's a girl." Balon was doing his best to maintain the charade, "Does the male spider get anything out of mating? You'd think she'd do something worth his while before killing him." He let out a happy sigh, "Balon and the Black Widow... Sounds like a cautionary tale parents tell to their children while sitting around the hearth." Balon stretched out his arms and legs before resettling, "Still, I like it. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?"When he mentions the possibility of children, her hand instinctively goes to stroke her own belly, face betraying a certain concern for the idea. "Nice names, but no. This is a bad time to carry the child of someone with many enemies." She answers softly. Despite everything, she still can't help herself from casually looking at him when she says that, discreetly assessing his reaction to her subtle reference towards the death of Lord Blackwood's unborn bastard. "And I'm honestly not an expert on spider psychology. There's probably a maester somewhere, somewhen who's dedicated their life to the study, but I don't know them. Why?" She looks up at him. "Is there something I could offer that I am not which is so appealing that you would accept certain death for it?" Her brows lower briefly. "That's a question, not an offer, to be clear.
"We may be a cautionary tale, yet." She whispers. "They often have exciting names like that, to encourage children to ask for them and listen.""You might be too old by then." He said nonchalantly knowing full well there'd be retribution for the comment. Rather than an angry retaliation, Laena pauses to stare for a short while up at the ceiling. "Nyke gīmigon" she finally responds, in a melancholy voice, without looking at him. "Are you aware of a title that is up for grabs? A lord in need of a landed knight? A lesser lord whose line dies with him? Otherwise I need my uncle to die, his heir to die, and his wife to die before she gives birth. Then Blackbriar lands will be mine."
"*Maybe* you could quietly push for our marriage and *maybe* when Ser Daemon is on the throne we're awarded all of the Starkwood and maybe we spend the rest of our days fucking, having children, and becoming the 11th principal bannerman of the Tyrells. That doesn't sound very boring." It was a tall order and a lot of things had to go right, primarily Blackfyre declaring and winning the civil war (and surviving it) but Balon could never be accused of reaching too low. "With all you've done and will do, I am confident that land will be in the offering come the dividing of spoils. Should you survive. And maybe have an influential and eloquent ally .. tipping the scales a bit" Laena doesn't sound too concerned. "Don't let the world dictate who you choose to be. We always have a choice even if it doesn't seem like it." Balon sat upright and encouraged her to do so. He outstretched his hands, palms up, waiting for her to place her hands in his, "Look at the people you mentioned. Ser Vernan. A safe choice for a husband, a boring choice for a husband. Your short marriage to him and his death opened up more opportunity for you even if you didn't see it at the time. Lord Bryce; a man that died less than two weeks after you met him. Did that really change you? How could it have?" Balon wasn't quite sure where he was going but he wanted it to end with him. "Despite those two being taken away from you look where you are now. You took a chance on me, when every one probably told you I wasn't worth it. I was an idiot, a blackguard but you chose me. And now here you are in love, with me. Happy, with me. Why would the loss of those two do that to you? Excluding land and titles what did they give you that I haven't? Safety?" Balon assumed that'd be her response and answered it before she could say it, "What makes you think you'd be any safer with them than me when the war starts?" "As for Lady Ashara," Balon wanted to barf at what he was about to say but there were kernels of truth to it, "I know what it's like to lose someone that close She was like a sister to you and despite our dislike of one another she didn't deserve her fate. But it only turns you into a Dragon if you let it. Donnel's death didn't make me abandon my faith to the Seven. It didn't make me hate all septons. I didn't murder Abelar in cold blood because I chose not to." Balon had grown frustrated as he tried to explain why she shouldn't feel the way she did and let out a calming breath. "What I'm trying to say is I feel that way too. I see myself as both Balon the Brave and Balon the Blackguard, each half fighting for control but I ultimately decide what I allow myself to be." "I will always be here for you. No matter how much the Dragon tries to erode the Human I will be your anchor. You can confide in me, love me, yell at me, whatever it takes to bring you back to the woman that allows herself to be true around me. You are not a monster!" he said emphatically. "We look at smallfolk and those beneath us as pieces because they *are* pieces. Don't feel ashamed. In reality we're all pieces on a board. Some just happen to control more than others." She gives him a weak smile. "Thank you. Your love and support help more than you may know. I ... think I'm just still rattled." She takes a breath, and takes a few moments to consider her words before continuing. "I told you I saw 'her' in my dreams? That's only .. mostly true. 'She' doesn't look like a dragon from history. 'She' looks like a combination of me, my mother and ... someone else. Something else. I'm not sure who or what. Just that there's somehow .. *more* to 'her'.
"Anyway, a short while back, back in Oldtown, I was at my desk, writing a letter to Sylvina. It was after dusk, so I was writing by candlelight. And I wrote something to her that .. after writing, I realised was something my mother had said to me. But not something most mothers would. Too cold. Especially for a child. When I had that realisation, I stared at my reflection in my mirror in horror.
"I need you to understand, Balon: the horror wasn't that I was appalled by what I *wrote*, it's that I *agreed* with it. And I don't think I would have a few years ago.
"And at that moment, when I looked in the mirror, lit only by candlelight, I didn't see me. I only saw ... 'her'. In my place." She releases a breath. "I recoiled, the light shifted, and 'I' returned. It was, after all, just a trick of the poor light. But it rattled me badly. It was like ... you're a man, so I'm not sure whether you're the same, but do you ever, when you get something nasty spilled on you or something, you feel the urge to immediately scrub yourself, hard, long after the actual stain has gone? Just to make sure that it is utterly and completely gone, and has no chance of returning? Well, it was like that. I needed to do that.
"I needed to change my looks in a significant way, so that I was definitively *me*, and not 'her'." She snorts. "By the Seven, I sound like a madwoman when I say it out loud." Her face becomes melancholy for a moment, before returning to a more neutral state as she forces out the final part of the story. "So ... I cut my hair. Harshly. Myself, right in front of my mirror, eyes wide in panic. Into a style 'she' had *never* had in my dreams, likely because neither the past me nor my mother ever had. Uniquely *mine*.
"I had a proper stylist tidy it properly the following day." She snorts darkly. "I think I gave them nightmares.
"So, that's how I got this haircut. Because a grown woman was scared witless by *shadows*." Her voice is scornful towards herself. "And what got me thinking about what changed about me, which lead to my initial question to you."She gives a final sigh. "You're the only person I can talk to about this."
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on Jun 2, 2021 8:08:12 GMT 1
When he mentions the possibility of children, her hand instinctively goes to stroke her own belly, face betraying a certain concern for the idea. "Nice names, but no. This is a bad time to carry the child of someone with many enemies." She answers softly. Despite everything, she still can't help herself from casually looking at him when she says that, discreetly assessing his reaction to her subtle reference towards the death of Lord Blackwood's unborn bastard.
Rather than an angry retaliation, Laena pauses to stare for a short while up at the ceiling. "Nyke gīmigon" she finally responds, in a melancholy voice, without looking at him. At the mention of it being a bad time to carry a child there is a moment that Balon's eyes reveal something. Not regret or guilt, but a sudden remembrance. "Your brother said the same thing more or less. We talked at Whitewalls and he thought it was a bad time to get married and have children. I argued the exact opposite." Balon put his hand atop Laena's and stroked her stomach along with her. "People fight harder if they have something to protect. A wife, a child, I think the average person will go above and beyond their capabilities to see them safe. To better their future. Don't you fight harder, act more in the hopes it grants a better tomorrow for your children?" The levity had gone from Balon's voice and he'd become serious. "If people waited for the right time to have children then no one would have children. There is no perfect time. Look at your great-grandmother. Balon squinted as he tried to recall his history. "Rhaenyra knew of the potential conflict with the Greens but did that stop her from having children with Daemon? No, she had six kids," (OOC I know the 6th died in childbirth but IC Balon doesn't remember that) "and how many were under ten when the Dance of Dragons started. I mean fuck, there were dragons and she still wasn't afraid to have kids." This was clearly something Balon had put thought in and was passionate about. "War, rebellions, Ironborn, famine, summer fevers, winter fevers, harsh winters, droughts, old enemies, new enemies, it never ends. People still have children and for all kinds of reasons. Duty to a husband, to ensure the family lineage, love, by accident. Don't let a dangerous world stop you."
After Laena said 'I know' Balon gently brought his finger to her chin and turned her head to make eye contact, "If you know then why do you hesitate? If you love me, have any kind of desire to marry me, then why dither until it becomes too late? If you're confident I'll acquire land, and I appreciate that you believe in me, why delay until you're too old and I'm forced to find someone younger? If I'm a lord we both know I have to marry someone capable of having children. I don't want to see you die in a birthing bed because we waited to long." "And I'm honestly not an expert on spider psychology. There's probably a maester somewhere, somewhen who's dedicated their life to the study, but I don't know them. Why?" She looks up at him. "Is there something I could offer that I am not which is so appealing that you would accept certain death for it?" Her brows lower briefly. "That's a question, not an offer, to be clear. Balon sat quietly for a moment, "There are things I'd accept certain death for. If you helped me put Ser Daemon on the throne and our reward was land, healthy children, and you at peace with yourself at the cost of my life, then yes, I'd accept that."She gives him a weak smile. "Thank you. Your love and support help more than you may know. I ... think I'm just still rattled." She takes a breath, and takes a few moments to consider her words before continuing. "I told you I saw 'her' in my dreams? That's only .. mostly true. 'She' doesn't look like a dragon from history. 'She' looks like a combination of me, my mother and ... someone else. Something else. I'm not sure who or what. Just that there's somehow .. *more* to 'her'."Anyway, a short while back, back in Oldtown, I was at my desk, writing a letter to Sylvina. It was after dusk, so I was writing by candlelight. And I wrote something to her that .. after writing, I realised was something my mother had said to me. But not something most mothers would. Too cold. Especially for a child. When I had that realization, I stared at my reflection in my mirror in horror."I need you to understand, Balon: the horror wasn't that I was appalled by what I *wrote*, it's that I *agreed* with it. And I don't think I would have a few years ago."And at that moment, when I looked in the mirror, lit only by candlelight, I didn't see me. I only saw ... 'her'. In my place." She releases a breath. "I recoiled, the light shifted, and 'I' returned. It was, after all, just a trick of the poor light. But it rattled me badly. It was like ... you're a man, so I'm not sure whether you're the same, but do you ever, when you get something nasty spilled on you or something, you feel the urge to immediately scrub yourself, hard, long after the actual stain has gone? Just to make sure that it is utterly and completely gone, and has no chance of returning? Well, it was like that. I needed to do that.
"I needed to change my looks in a significant way, so that I was definitively *me*, and not 'her'." She snorts. "By the Seven, I sound like a madwoman when I say it out loud." Her face becomes melancholy for a moment, before returning to a more neutral state as she forces out the final part of the story. "So ... I cut my hair. Harshly. Myself, right in front of my mirror, eyes wide in panic. Into a style 'she' had *never* had in my dreams, likely because neither the past me nor my mother ever had. Uniquely *mine*.
"I had a proper stylist tidy it properly the following day." She snorts darkly. "I think I gave them nightmares.
"So, that's how I got this haircut. Because a grown woman was scared witless by *shadows*." Her voice is scornful towards herself. "And what got me thinking about what changed about me, which lead to my initial question to you."She gives a final sigh. "You're the only person I can talk to about this."Balon raised her hands to his lips and gently kissed them, " We are more alike than you know." Balon chewed on his lower lip for a moment, trying to decide where to start. "You said you view people as pieces on a game board. I do too. At first it was people at an abstract level. Retinues, smallfolk, people I'd never met. They were *things* to be maneuvered to ensure Blackfyre won. But as time progresses it's not just strangers or acquaintances I see as pieces but friends and family. When Septon Abelar started the riot Lord Eldon was furious and there was worry that he'd seek revenge on House Blackbriar so my mother suggested my sister marry Lord Eldon. At first I was repulsed, no one would wish that on their worst enemy but after a time I was fine with it. Delia became a piece to be moved into an advantageous position. The wealth and levies of Longtable would go a long way to winning the war. If my sister had to suffer so be it." Balon let our a sigh of relief. "As fate would have it she ended up with a much better betrothal but I was ready to cast her to the piggy.""Look at Lady Tanda. A woman my mother once hoped I'd marry. At Whitegrove when Lord Eldon was falsely accused Lord Marq suggested Tanda be given to Eldon to satisfy his anger. Lord Gormon didn't need that kind of distraction and pain Eldon could inflict so he agreed. And you know what? I went to Lady Tanda to ensure she'd comply. A woman I once fantasized about reduced to a pawn to be sacrificed. And I'd do it again in the blink of an eye. I don't care what she has to endure if that means Longtable and their blackguards win battles for us.""My brother... When we were young Titus wanted to become a Kingsguard. I teased him about it but in my heart I wanted to find a way for that to become true. Now? I'd make him a lord protector if that meant another house for Ser Daemon. I don't care about his desire. If Lord Owen Roxton agreed to a union with Daena I'd have him there in less than a fortnight.""Have you ever heard of the saying In for a penny, in for a gold dragon? That's me and the rebellion. There is no turning back for me. I have to see this through to the end. I have to do whatever it takes to win because unlike my cousin or Lord Walgrave I have no power. I can't have land taken away from me or hostages to give. I'm a part of the junior branch of an average house and my lord-uncle and his bitch wife don't give two shits about me. If we lose the best I can hope for is exile. Otherwise it's the wall or a noose for me. So yes, I treat people like pieces and I feel less sorry about it every day.""As to what happened to you in Oldtown, I won't lie that worries me considering what you've told me of your mother." He stroked her cheek, "I'm glad you recognized it though. That tells me you're still you. What did you do when you realized the letter was... wrong. Did you write a new one? How did you show yourself you're not your mother, besides this." He waived to her hair.
Balon ran his fingers through her hair. He didn't like it but he wasn't dumb enough to say so. "It'll grow back. It might have been a little extreme but I understand why you did it."
He pursed his lips, "This is one of the reasons I want to marry you. Skulking about, meeting in places like this. There is a certain allure to it. The danger, the forbiddance of it. But it doesn't allow me to be with you when things like this happen. I can't be there to tell you it's an illusion, a fake. You might have been horrified at the reflection but I see the real Laena. So don't be so hard on yourself." He leaned in and kissed her, a vain attempt to cheer her up. "I only ask, beyond the physical what do you plan to do to stop this *dragon*."
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Post by Laena Pyre on Jun 2, 2021 19:35:58 GMT 1
At the mention of it being a bad time to carry a child there is a moment that Balon's eyes reveal something. Not regret or guilt, but a sudden remembrance. "Your brother said the same thing more or less. We talked at Whitewalls and he thought it was a bad time to get married and have children. I argued the exact opposite." Balon put his hand atop Laena's and stroked her stomach along with her. "People fight harder if they have something to protect. A wife, a child, I think the average person will go above and beyond their capabilities to see them safe. To better their future. Don't you fight harder, act more in the hopes it grants a better tomorrow for your children?" The levity had gone from Balon's voice and he'd become serious. "If people waited for the right time to have children then no one would have children. There is no perfect time. Look at your great-grandmother. Balon squinted as he tried to recall his history. "Rhaenyra knew of the potential conflict with the Greens but did that stop her from having children with Daemon? No, she had six kids," (OOC I know the 6th died in childbirth but IC Balon doesn't remember that) "and how many were under ten when the Dance of Dragons started. I mean fuck, there were dragons and she still wasn't afraid to have kids." This was clearly something Balon had put thought in and was passionate about. "War, rebellions, Ironborn, famine, summer fevers, winter fevers, harsh winters, droughts, old enemies, new enemies, it never ends. People still have children and for all kinds of reasons. Duty to a husband, to ensure the family lineage, love, by accident. Don't let a dangerous world stop you."
After Laena said 'I know' Balon gently brought his finger to her chin and turned her head to make eye contact, "If you know then why do you hesitate? If you love me, have any kind of desire to marry me, then why dither until it becomes too late? If you're confident I'll acquire land, and I appreciate that you believe in me, why delay until you're too old and I'm forced to find someone younger? If I'm a lord we both know I have to marry someone capable of having children. I don't want to see you die in a birthing bed because we waited to long." Ready or not, it was clearly time. Laena shifts her body so she can clearly see Balon's face, her tone and expression deadly serious. "Do you know what would happen during this very meeting, were we already married? Or even if our relationship were public knowledge? Without the need for secrecy, let's say we go for a picnic in the fresh air, rather than a sordid brothel. We start drinking, talking, and flirting, building anticipation, just the two of us. Then, I get a slightly confused look on my face, and reach for my throat. My eyes widen in fear, and you see my face turn red, as I clutch desperately at my throat. You come to my side, panicking, desperately trying to figure out how you can help. You catch me as I collapse backwards. My hands claw desperately at you, eyes wide in fear staring into yours, pleading for help you are incapable of giving." She describes the scene relentlessly, coldly. "My face turns blue. My hands weaken and fall away from you. My eyes turn glassy and unseeing. My head falls back.
"I am dead.
"My final twitches unroll my napkin. Hidden within its folds was a simple piece of wood, charred black. Compliments of an ambitious cousin looking for his lord's favour."She lets him vocalise the final link. Hoping the shock of her describing such a fate might shake the truth loose. Balon sat quietly for a moment, "There are things I'd accept certain death for. If you helped me put Ser Daemon on the throne and our reward was land, healthy children, and you at peace with yourself at the cost of my life, then yes, I'd accept that."A small smile. "Sadly, much of that is beyond my power. And I rather doubt losing a second husband would help me achieve peace with myself. Still," she gives him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you."Balon raised her hands to his lips and gently kissed them, " We are more alike than you know." Balon chewed on his lower lip for a moment, trying to decide where to start. "You said you view people as pieces on a game board. I do too. At first it was people at an abstract level. Retinues, smallfolk, people I'd never met. They were *things* to be maneuvered to ensure Blackfyre won. But as time progresses it's not just strangers or acquaintances I see as pieces but friends and family. When Septon Abelar started the riot Lord Eldon was furious and there was worry that he'd seek revenge on House Blackbriar so my mother suggested my sister marry Lord Eldon. At first I was repulsed, no one would wish that on their worst enemy but after a time I was fine with it. Delia became a piece to be moved into an advantageous position. The wealth and levies of Longtable would go a long way to winning the war. If my sister had to suffer so be it." Balon let our a sigh of relief. "As fate would have it she ended up with a much better betrothal but I was ready to cast her to the piggy.""Look at Lady Tanda. A woman my mother once hoped I'd marry. At Whitegrove when Lord Eldon was falsely accused Lord Marq suggested Tanda be given to Eldon to satisfy his anger. Lord Gormon didn't need that kind of distraction and pain Eldon could inflict so he agreed. And you know what? I went to Lady Tanda to ensure she'd comply. A woman I once fantasized about reduced to a pawn to be sacrificed. And I'd do it again in the blink of an eye. I don't care what she has to endure if that means Longtable and their blackguards win battles for us.""My brother... When we were young Titus wanted to become a Kingsguard. I teased him about it but in my heart I wanted to find a way for that to become true. Now? I'd make him a lord protector if that meant another house for Ser Daemon. I don't care about his desire. If Lord Owen Roxton agreed to a union with Daena I'd have him there in less than a fortnight.""Have you ever heard of the saying In for a penny, in for a gold dragon? That's me and the rebellion. There is no turning back for me. I have to see this through to the end. I have to do whatever it takes to win because unlike my cousin or Lord Walgrave I have no power. I can't have land taken away from me or hostages to give. I'm a part of the junior branch of an average house and my lord-uncle and his bitch wife don't give two shits about me. If we lose the best I can hope for is exile. Otherwise it's the wall or a noose for me. So yes, I treat people like pieces and I feel less sorry about it every day."Laena nods, acknowledging his points. "It's corrosive, though." She counters, softly. "You've said that you love your family, that you want them to succeed. And then in your next breath, admit that you'll undermine your brother's goals, and condemn your sister to a life of rape, torture, and misery to achieve your own." She places a finger on his lips before he can rebut her. "I understand why, truly. You see the world clearly, without artifice. But that's no way to live. Can you truly say you love a wife you'd kill so you can remarry to achieve your goal? Can you truly say you love children who are naught but pieces to play in nuptial games? A daughter you would marry to the next generation's Lord Eldon?" Her tone is melancholy, rather than accusatory. She sighs. "There must be some balance between achieving your goals, and having enough of 'you' left at the end to actually appreciate it." Her whistful tone implies that she doesn't know where it might be. "Not that it ever really ends. Just as a rusted sword doesn't 'un-rust', a line crossed once never really reforms, and can be crossed for lesser and lesser reasons in the future.""As to what happened to you in Oldtown, I won't lie that worries me considering what you've told me of your mother." He stroked her cheek, "I'm glad you recognized it though. That tells me you're still you. What did you do when you realized the letter was... wrong. Did you write a new one? How did you show yourself you're not your mother, besides this." He waved to her hair. Balon ran his fingers through her hair. He didn't like it but he wasn't dumb enough to say so. "It'll grow back. It might have been a little extreme but I understand why you did it."
He pursed his lips, "This is one of the reasons I want to marry you. Skulking about, meeting in places like this. There is a certain allure to it. The danger, the forbiddance of it. But it doesn't allow me to be with you when things like this happen. I can't be there to tell you it's an illusion, a fake. You might have been horrified at the reflection but I see the real Laena. So don't be so hard on yourself." He leaned in and kissed her, a vain attempt to cheer her up. "I only ask, beyond the physical what do you plan to do to stop this *dragon*." "I burned the letter. Rewrote a better one, with prettier lies. People need lies, sometimes. Especially children. The truth is a cold, ugly thing. My daughter can have a few years of happiness and dreams, without becoming as naive as my mother was before her prostitution to my father."She gives a big sigh before trying to answer his big question. "I don't know." She replies simply. "I need 'her'. I just also need 'me'. Like many things, there needs to be a balance. Hopefully not having to worry about you being at war, at least for the immediate future, will help."
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Post by Balon Blackbriar on Jun 4, 2021 7:40:07 GMT 1
Ready or not, it was clearly time. Laena shifts her body so she can clearly see Balon's face, her tone and expression deadly serious. "Do you know what would happen during this very meeting, were we already married? Or even if our relationship were public knowledge? Without the need for secrecy, let's say we go for a picnic in the fresh air, rather than a sordid brothel. We start drinking, talking, and flirting, building anticipation, just the two of us. Then, I get a slightly confused look on my face, and reach for my throat. My eyes widen in fear, and you see my face turn red, as I clutch desperately at my throat. You come to my side, panicking, desperately trying to figure out how you can help. You catch me as I collapse backwards. My hands claw desperately at you, eyes wide in fear staring into yours, pleading for help you are incapable of giving." She describes the scene relentlessly, coldly. "My face turns blue. My hands weaken and fall away from you. My eyes turn glassy and unseeing. My head falls back.
"I am dead.
"My final twitches unroll my napkin. Hidden within its folds was a simple piece of wood, charred black. Compliments of an ambitious cousin looking for his lord's favour."She lets him vocalize the final link. Hoping the shock of her describing such a fate might shake the truth loose. The picture Laena painted was awful and no matter how much he tried, Balon couldn't stop his mind from envisioning it. The look on his face was one of horror that slowly morphed into anger as she spun her tale. Her mention of charred wood confused him. Wood, charred black. What is she talking about? Why would there be charred wood? Is that supposed to mean something? Burnt wood... black wood... Blackwood. The realization finally hit Balon. "I see that *rumor* made it to the Reach before I did." He knew this would come up eventually but hadn't expected it so soon. During his trip back to the Reach he'd rehearsed what he'd say if it was brought up. He'd thought to the lessons Gormon had taught him as a page, the half-truths Delia had used to get out of trouble, the non-answers Shiera gave to Lord Jon during their petty squabbles. He'd practiced over a thousand times what he'd say but in this moment he felt like he'd falter. Laena was someone he wanted to confide in but knew if he did there was a chance she'd never speak to him again. "Let me give you two scenarios and when I'm done you tell me which is more likely. In the first scenario a knight who couldn't even gain an audience with Ser Farman Flowers and a knight who couldn't track down any of the rumor-mongers at Highgarden managed to find out Lord Rodrik had a peasant lover who was pregnant with his bastard. Despite having no interest in House Blackwood this knight took it upon himself to track this girl down. Without any contacts or friends in the Riverlands he managed to locate her in Riverthorn, then hire thugs and sellswords in a land he rarely visited, then burn the village, kill it's defenders, kill the girl, then sneak away into the night. Oh, and the sellswords he hired happened to all have steel traps for mouths that are conveniently rusted shut. And after all of this, this knight walked out of the Riverlands a free man, despite his name being attached to the Rape of Riverthorn. He walks out of the Riverlands a free man despite the Iron Throne coming to the Riverlands to end the fighting between sworn enemies. They could have arrested him, presented evidence at trial, but they didn't, because the evidence doesn't exist."
"Now let me tell you about scenario two. A young lord is in love. And being young makes this lord do foolish things, like say, set aside a betrothal to Lord Deremond Darry's daughter for his smallfolk amore. And by doing so this young lord alienates a powerful lord in a time when allies and marriages are of utmost importance. And within this family is a vile knight named Bloodraven. A knight that skulks in the shadows and schemes and plots and has already killed Lord Jon Hightower, one of the most powerful lords in all of Westeros. Now what if in this scenario, while this peasant girl is tucked away Bloodraven sends his own men to destroy the town because he knows a young lord needs to set aside silly notions like love and accept his duty as lord of Raventree Hall. And when the deed is done Bloodraven whispers in the ear of this young lord about who did it. A perfect patsy. A brash, loud-mouthed knight, barely a step above a hedge knight but one of the most vocal supporters of Blackfyre. How easy would it be to accuse this knight knowing there will be little in the way of consequences for such an accusation. And even though this young lord will always hate the loud-mouth his council will refocus his attention in due time to the coming war, his betrothed, his duty to his house and kin."
"Tell me of these two scenarios, which seems more likely?" Balon had been calm while presenting his what-if scenarios but Laena could hear the mix of anger and resentment in his voice. "And while we're on the subject of awful demises who is not to say that instead of charred wood it's a lock of Valyrian hair in *my* poisoned chalice, courtesy of Lucas Flowers, formerly Meadows. Or perhaps while in a hall during a feast Lady Maegelle poisons my food because of your never ending quest for revenge. Or fifteen years from now her son removes the head of our son in a joust. Revenge against *you* for having him go from a lord to a landless bastard. Stop acting like I'm the only one that is putting us in danger." It was one of the few times, if ever, Laena could tell he was mad at her. "The only difference is I don't fear the consequence of your actions because we can stand against anything this world throws at us if we're together and of one mind and spirit."A small smile. "Sadly, much of that is beyond my power. And I rather doubt losing a second husband would help me achieve peace with myself. Still," she gives him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you." "Do not underestimate yourself. I know what you're capable of even if the rest of the Reach doesn't. The more pebbles you throw down the hill the more rocks will come loose. Enough rocks tumble down you'll unearth a boulder. Soon enough you'll have yourself an avalanche." He returned this kiss and smiled, "Of course I'd much rather have all that and live." Laena nods, acknowledging his points. "It's corrosive, though." She counters, softly. "You've said that you love your family, that you want them to succeed. And then in your next breath, admit that you'll undermine your brother's goals, and condemn your sister to a life of rape, torture, and misery to achieve your own." She places a finger on his lips before he can rebut her. "I understand why, truly. You see the world clearly, without artifice. But that's no way to live. Can you truly say you love a wife you'd kill so you can remarry to achieve your goal? Can you truly say you love children who are naught but pieces to play in nuptial games? A daughter you would marry to the next generation's Lord Eldon?" Her tone is melancholy, rather than accusatory. She sighs. "There must be some balance between achieving your goals, and having enough of 'you' left at the end to actually appreciate it." Her whistful tone implies that she doesn't know where it might be. "Not that it ever really ends. Just as a rusted sword doesn't 'un-rust', a line crossed once never really reforms, and can be crossed for lesser and lesser reasons in the future."When she removed her finger from his lips he didn't speak right away. Balon truly believed there was an eventual stopping point. There was a finish line where he didn't need to treat people like pieces anymore. "I... I do love my family but sometimes it takes me awhile to... reset? Rethink things and come up with a better solution. Delia is set to become the Lady of Old Oak. Daena Roxton is hardly an unworthy consolation prize. Yes I'd undermine Titus' goals but," a short burst of laughter escaped his lips, "How could I be viewed as cruel if I made my brother a Lord Protector of a beautiful lady whose house also happens to possess a Valyrian sword?" He'd treated them like pieces but had, or was trying, to move them in a favorable position for both his siblings' sake and the Blackfyre cause. "It all ends when Blackfyre is on the throne. Once the war is won I don't need to treat people like pieces. Why would I? Yes I'd marry our children for alliances or prestige and yes I'd look to strengthen our house but not in the same manner as I do things now. Whether lords and knight admit it the war has already started and blows have been landed. If I don't treat people like pieces while the other side does we're at a disadvantage. And what is a little sacrifice now for long term gain? At the last part it sounded like Balon was trying to convince himself more than Laena. "I burned the letter. Rewrote a better one, with prettier lies. People need lies, sometimes. Especially children. The truth is a cold, ugly thing. My daughter can have a few years of happiness and dreams, without becoming as naive as my mother was before her prostitution to my father."She gives a big sigh before trying to answer his big question. "I don't know." She replies simply. "I need 'her'. I just also need 'me'. Like many things, there needs to be a balance. Hopefully not having to worry about you being at war, at least for the immediate future, will help." "We shield our children from the cold, ugly world because we love them. Gormon once told me fathers study war and politics so children can study painting, poetry, music, and literature. It took me a long time to really understand the meaning behind that but now I do. Parents face the hard truths of the world to give their children time to just... be. Once they're older we can start preparing them for life as an adult but in the meantime we lie to them because they need to be lied to. But we can also tell them the truth. Let them know about all the things that make them special. Your daughter for example. She's adorable. Is she funny? Astute? What makes her special? Do you tell her about the things you like about her?"Balon knew all about two halves within a person. He struggled with it every day. Sometimes the honorable Balon won out but more and more the Blackguard side of him was dominant. He didn't want that side but he believed there'd be time to reclaim "himself" when the war was over. "If you need her but want to be you then be you with me." He laid back down on his side. "So tell me you, what do you want to do with me?"
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